should get it but He? I know that ye allow it upon Him. There are comforts both sweet and satisfying laid up for you: wait on. First Christ; He is an honest debtor. [201] Confessor. Now for mine own case. I think some poor body would be glad of a dawted prisoner's leavings. I have no scarcity of Christ's love: He hath wasted more comforts upon His poor banished servant than would have refreshed many souls. My burden was once so heavy, that one ounce weight would have casten the balance, and broken my back; but Christ said, "Hold, hold!" to my sorrow, and hath wiped a bluthered face, which was foul with weeping. I may joyfully go my Lord's errands, with wages in my hands. Deferred hopes need not make me dead-sweir (as we used to say): my cross is both my cross and my reward. O that men would sound His high praise! I love Christ's worst reproaches, His glooms, His cross, better than all the world's plastered glory. My heart is not longing to be back again from Christ's country; it is a sweet soil I am come to. I, if any in the world, have good cause to speak much good of Him. Oh, hell were a good-cheap price to buy Him at! Oh, if all the three kingdoms were witnesses to my pained, pained soul, overcome with Christ's love! I thank you most kindly, my dear sister, for your love to, and tender care of, my brother. I shall think myself obliged to you if ye continue his friend. He is more to me than a brother now, being engaged to suffer for so honourable a Master and cause. Pray for Christ's prisoner; and grace, grace be with you. Yours in his sweet Lord Jesus, S. R. ABERDEEN, _March 7, 1637_. CVI.--_To the Right Honourable and Christian Lady, my LADY KENMURE._ (_WEAK ASSURANCE--GRACE DIFFERENT FROM LEARNING--SELF-ACCUSATIONS._) MADAM,--Upon the offered opportunity of this worthy bearer, I could not omit to answer the heads of your letter. _1stly_, I think not much to set down on paper some good things anent Christ (that sealed and holy thing),[202] and to feed my soul with raw wishes to be one with Christ; for a wish is but broken and half love. But verily to obey this, "Come and see," is a harder matter! Oh, I have smoke rather than fire, and guessings rather than real assurances of Him. I have little or nothing to say, that I am as one who hath found favour in His eyes; but there is some pining and mismannered hunger, that maketh me miscall and nickname Christ as a changed Lord. But alas! it is ill-flitten. I cannot believe without a pledge. I cannot take God's word without a caution, as if Christ had lost and sold His credit, and were not in my books responsal, and law-biding. But this is _my_ way; for _His_ way is, "After that ye believed, ye were sealed with that Holy Spirit of promise" (Eph. i. 13). [202] Luke i. 35.