Letters on the Improvement of the Mind, Addressed to a LadyChapone, Mrs. (Hester)
Religion
Letters on the Improvement of the Mind, Addressed to a Lady
Chapone, Mrs. (Hester)
Women -- Education; Young women -- Conduct of life
None, who pretend to be friends of religion and virtue, should ever keep
a domestic, however expert in business, whom they know to be guilty of
immorality. How unbecoming a serious character is it, to say of such an
one, "He is a bad man, but a good servant!" What a preference does it
show of private convenience to the interests of society, which demand
that vice should be constantly discountenanced, especially in every
one's own household; and that the sober, honest, and industrious, should
be sure of finding encouragement and reward, in the houses of those who
maintain respectable characters! Such persons should be invariably
strict and peremptory with regard to the behaviour of their servants, in
every thing which concerns the general plan of domestic government; but
should by no means be severe on small faults, since nothing so much
weakens authority as frequent chiding. Whilst they require precise
obedience to their rules, they must prove by their general conduct,
that these rules are the effect, not of humour but of reason. It is
wonderful that those, who are careful to conceal their ill-temper from
strangers, should be indifferent how peevish and even contemptibly
capricious they appear before their servants, on whom their good name so
much depends, and from whom they can hope for no real respect, when
their weakness is so apparent. When once a servant can say, "I cannot do
any thing to please my mistress to-day," all authority is lost.
Those, who continually change their servants, and complain of perpetual
ill usage, have good reason to believe that the fault is in themselves,
and that they do not know how to govern. Few indeed possess the skill to
unite authority with kindness, or are capable of that steady and
uniformly reasonable conduct, which alone can maintain true dignity, and
command a willing and attentive obedience. Let us not forget that human
nature is the same in all stations. If you can convince your servants,
that you have a generous and considerate regard to their health, their
interest, and their reasonable gratifications--that you impose no
commands but what are fit and right, nor ever reprove but with justice
and temper--why should you imagine that they will be insensible to the
good they receive, or whence suppose them incapable of esteeming and
prizing such a mistress? I could never, without indignation, hear it
said, that "servants have no gratitude;" as if the condition of
servitude excluded the virtues of humanity! The truth is, masters and
mistresses have seldom any real claim to gratitude. They think highly of
what they bestow, and little of the service they receive: they consider
only their own convenience, and seldom reflect on the kind of life their
servants pass with them: they do not ask themselves, whether it is such
an one as is consistent with the preservation of their health, their
morals, their leisure for religious duties, or with a proper share of
the enjoyments and comforts of life.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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