I shall not speak of the children; indeed, I already did so at length in
my letters of August; and then I know you too well to have any anxiety
in regard to them. You will embrace them with all my strength, with all
my soul. I must leave you, although it always is a great grief to me to
tear away from your presence, so short, so fleeting, is this moment that
I pass with you.
I embrace you as I love you, with all my strength, with all the power of
my love, as I embrace our dear children, while I repeat to you always,
Courage, courage! and while I wish that all this suffering may have at
last an end.
Your devoted
ALFRED.
My best kisses to your dear parents, to all of our family; my wishes of
condolence to Arthur and to Lucie; I do not feel that I have the courage
to write to them.
* * * * *
_22 October, 1897._
My dear and good Lucie:
Should I listen only to my heart I should write to you at every instant,
at every hour in the day; for my thoughts cannot detach themselves from
you, from our dear children, from all; but it would be only to repeat
the expressions of our common grief, and there are no more words to
describe this martyrdom--so long!
In the letters that I have written to you I have expressed my thoughts,
my determination, that determination that I know to be your own, that of
every one of you, independent of my sufferings, of my life; there have
been also in my letters, it is true, cries of sorrow, for when I suffer
night and day, even more for you and for our children than for myself,
my brain takes fire; and as if there were not enough in my own tortures,
the climate at this time of year is sufficient in itself alone. And,
indeed, the heart has need to give vent to its anguish, the human being
to cry out its distress, its weakness.
But do not let us dwell upon all that. What I wish to tell you is this:
you must demand light on this tragic story; you must have the will to
pursue inflexibly, without boasting, without passion, but with the
unshakable conviction of your rights; with your heart of a wife, of a
mother, horribly mutilated and wounded, with an energy and a will
increasing each day in proportion to your sufferings.
So, to-day, while I await your dear letters I wish only to embrace you
with all my heart, with all my strength, as I love you, as I embrace
also our dear children, to hope, as always, that our terrible martyrdom
may at last have an end; yes, and to repeat to you always, a thousand
and a thousand times, Courage!
A thousand kisses more.
ALFRED.
* * * * *
_4 November, 1897._
My dear and good Lucie:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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