Lewis Arundel; Or, The Railroad Of LifeSmedley, Frank E. (Frank Edward)
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Lewis Arundel; Or, The Railroad Of Life
Smedley, Frank E. (Frank Edward)
English fiction -- 19th century
“He meant to insult me--his words, his look, everything proves it--and
I did not resent it. Perhaps he thinks I fear him--if I believed so,
I’d follow him, and before them all fix on him the blow of shame that he
must avenge, or own himself a coward.” As he spoke he took two or three
hasty strides towards the door; checking himself, however, as his eye
accidentally fell upon Walter, who had entered with him, and who stood
regarding him with looks of stupid amazement, he continued: “But I must
not think of myself only; the interests of others are at stake--Rose--my
Mother--that poor boy--I dare not sacrifice them.” He flung himself into
a chair, and pressing his hand against his burning brow, resumed,
“Oh, why am I called upon to bear this?--how have I sinned, that this
degradation should be forced upon me?--the coward! he knows I am bound
hand and foot, or he dare not thus insult me; it is like striking a
fettered man--” He paused, then added, “Well, a time may come when I may
meet him more as an equal; at all events, now it is my duty to bear as
much as human nature can, and I’ll do it.” He remained silent for a few
minutes, with his hand over his eyes, waiting till the excitement should
pass away. From this state he was aroused by feeling something touch
him, and looking up, he perceived the idiot, half kneeling, half sitting
by his side, gazing up into his face with looks of wonder and sympathy.
This mute evidence of affection acted as a balm to his wounded spirit,
and laying his hand kindly on the boy’s shoulder, he said, “Walter,
my poor fellow, have I frightened you? I was not angry with _you_, you
know. Come, we will walk down to the lake and see the skating. What has
become of Faust, I wonder? We must take him with us, of course.”
“Who was that who went away just now?” returned Walter. “He with the
hair over his mouth, I mean?”
“That was Lord Bellefield, your friend Mr. Leicester’s brother.”
“He’s a bad man, isn’t he?”
“Why should you think so, Walter?”
The boy paused for a few moments in reflection, then answered, “His eyes
look wicked and frighten me; besides, he made you angry--I hate him.”
“You should not say that, Walter; you know it is not right to hate any
one,” returned Lewis, feeling dreadfully hypocritical; then linking his
arm in that of his pupil, they passed out through the conservatory.
As the sound of their retreating footsteps died away a figure peeped
timidly into the apartment, and seeing it was untenanted, entered and
gazed after them long and fixedly. It was Annie Grant, who, returning
to learn the result of Lewis’s embassy to her father, had involuntarily
overheard both the insult and the burst of wounded feeling which it had
called forth.
In that short five minutes were sown seeds that, as they grew to
maturity, bore sleepless nights and weary days, and the tearless sorrow
of a breaking heart, as a portion of their bitter fruit.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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