his side, with the Burkes, Sir Joshua Reynolds, Fitzherbert, Caleb
Whitefoord, and a phalanx of North British predetermined applauders,
under the banner of Major Mills, all good men and true. Our illustrious
president was in inimitable glee, and poor Goldsmith that day took all
his raillery as patiently and complacently as my friend Boswell would
have done any day or every day of his life. In the meantime, we did not
forget our duty, and though we had a better comedy going, in which
Johnson was chief actor, we betook ourselves in good time to our
separate and allotted posts, and waited the awful drawing up of the
curtain. As our stations were preconcerted, so were our signals for
plaudits arranged and determined upon in a manner that gave every one
his cue where to look for them and how to follow them up. We had amongst
us a very worthy and sufficient member, long since lost to his friends
and the world at large, Adam Drummond, of amiable memory, who was gifted
by nature with the most sonorous, and, at the same time, the most
contagious, laugh that ever echoed from the human lungs. The neighing of
the horse of the son of Hystaspes was a whisper to it; the whole thunder
of the theatre could not drown it. This kind and ingenuous friend fairly
forewarned us that he knew no more when to give his fire than the cannon
did that was planted on a battery. He desired, therefore, to have a
flapper at his elbow, and I had the honor to be deputed to that office.
I planted him in an upper box, pretty nearly over the stage, in full
view of the pit and galleries, and perfectly well situated to give the
echo all its play through the hollows and recesses of the theatre. The
success of our manoeuvres was complete. All eyes were upon Johnson,
who sat in a front row of a side box, and when he laughed everybody
thought themselves warranted to roar. In the meantime, my friend
followed signals with a rattle so irresistibly comic that, when he had
repeated it several times, the attention of the spectators was so
engrossed by his person and performances that the progress of the play
seemed likely to become a secondary object, and I found it prudent to
insinuate to him that he might halt his music without any prejudice to
the author; but, alas, it was now too late to rein him in; he had
laughed upon my signal where he found no joke, and now unluckily he
fancied that he found a joke in almost everything that was said; so that
nothing in nature could be more malapropos than some of his bursts every
now and then were. These were dangerous moments, for the pit began to
take umbrage; but we carried our play through, and triumphed, not only
over Colman's judgment, but our own." It is related that Goldsmith,
during the performance of the comedy, walked all the time in St. James's
Park, in great uneasiness; and when he thought it must be over, he
hastened to the theatre. His ears were assailed with hisses as he
entered the green-room, when he eagerly inquired of Mr. Colman the
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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