Voltaire makes Candide sit down to supper at Venice with six strangers
who were staying at the same hotel with himself, and as the servants, to
his astonishment, addressed each of them by the title of "your majesty,"
he asked for an explanation of the pleasantry. "I am not jesting," said
the first, "I am Achmet III.; I was sultan several years; I dethroned
my brother, and my nephew dethroned me. They have cut off the heads of
my viziers; I shall pass the remainder of my days in the old seraglio;
my nephew, the Sultan Mahmoud, sometimes permits me to travel for my
health, and I have come to pass the Carnival at Venice." A young man who
was close to Achmet spoke next, and said, "My name is Ivan; I have been
Emperor of all the Russias; I was dethroned when I was in my cradle; my
father and my mother have been incarcerated; I was brought up in prison;
I have sometimes permission to travel attended by my keepers, and I have
come to pass the Carnival at Venice." The third said, "I am Charles
Edward, King of England; my father has surrendered his rights to me; I
have fought to sustain them; my vanquishers have torn out the hearts of
eight hundred of my partisans; I have been put into prison; I am going
to Rome to pay a visit to my father, dethroned like my grandfather and
myself, and I have come to pass the Carnival at Venice." The fourth then
spoke, and said, "I am King of Poland; the fortune of war has deprived
me of my hereditary states; my father experienced the same reverses; I
resign myself to the will of Providence, like the Sultan Achmet, the
Emperor Ivan, and the King Charles Edward, to whom God grant a long
life; and I have come to pass the Carnival at Venice." The fifth said,
"I am also King of Poland; I have lost my kingdom twice, but Providence
has given me another in which I have done more good than all the kings
of Sarmatia put together have ever done on the banks of the Vistula. I
also resign myself to the will of Providence, and I have come to pass
the Carnival at Venice." There remained a sixth monarch to speak.
"Gentlemen," he said, "I am not as great a sovereign as the rest, but I,
too, have been a king. I am Theodore, who was elected King of Corsica; I
was called 'your majesty,' and at present am hardly called 'sir;' I
have caused money to be coined, and do not now possess a penny; I have
had two secretaries of state, and have now scarcely a servant; I have
sat upon a throne, and was long in a prison in London, upon straw, and
am afraid of being treated in the same manner here, although I have
come, like your majesties, to pass the Carnival at Venice." The other
five kings heard this confession with a noble compassion. Each of them
gave King Theodore twenty sequins to buy some clothes and shirts.
Candide presented him with a diamond worth two thousand sequins. "Who,"
said the five kings, "is this man who can afford to give a hundred times
as much as any of us? Are you, sir, also a king?" "No, your majesties,
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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