Library of the World's Best Literature, Ancient and Modern — Volume 06
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Library of the World's Best Literature, Ancient and Modern — Volume 06
Literature -- Collections
You know that they are dead, and that they were killed by me. What more
would you have? Would you extort from me a statement of my motives? Have
you failed to discover them already? You charge me with malice: but your
eyes are not shut; your reason is still vigorous; your memory has not
forsaken you. You know whom it is that you thus charge. The habits of
his life are known to you; his treatment of his wife and his offspring
is known to you; the soundness of his integrity and the unchangeableness
of his principles are familiar to your apprehension: yet you persist in
this charge! You lead me hither manacled as a felon; you deem me worthy
of a vile and tormenting death!
Who are they whom I have devoted to death? My wife--the little ones that
drew their being from me--that creature who, as she surpassed them in
excellence, claimed a larger affection than those whom natural
affinities bound to my heart. Think ye that malice could have urged me
to this deed? Hide your audacious fronts from the scrutiny of heaven.
Take refuge in some cavern unvisited by human eyes. Ye may deplore your
wickedness or folly, but ye cannot expiate it.
Think not that I speak for your sakes. Hug to your hearts this
detestable infatuation. Deem me still a murderer, and drag me to
untimely death. I make not an effort to dispel your illusion; I utter
not a word to cure you of your sanguinary folly: but there are probably
some in this assembly who have come from far; for their sakes, whose
distance has disabled them from knowing me, I will tell what I have
done, and why.
It is needless to say that God is the object of my supreme passion. I
have cherished in his presence a single and upright heart. I have
thirsted for the knowledge of his will. I have burnt with ardor to
approve my faith and my obedience. My days have been spent in searching
for the revelation of that will; but my days have been mournful, because
my search failed. I solicited direction; I turned on every side where
glimmerings of light could be discovered. I have not been wholly
uninformed; but my knowledge has always stopped short of certainty.
Dissatisfaction has insinuated itself into all my thoughts. My purposes
have been pure, my wishes indefatigable; but not till lately were these
purposes thoroughly accomplished and these wishes fully gratified.
I thank Thee, my Father, for Thy bounty; that Thou didst not ask a less
sacrifice than this; that Thou placedst me in a condition to testify my
submission to Thy will! What have I withheld which it was Thy pleasure
to exact? Now may I, with dauntless and erect eye, claim my reward,
since I have given Thee the treasure of my soul.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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