We are afraid we must make a clean breast of it: in our hero there were two very distinct characters. Some Father of the Church has said: "I feel there are two men in me." He would have spoken truly in saying this about Tartarin, who carried in his frame the soul of Don Quixote, the same chivalric impulses, heroic ideal, and crankiness for the grandiose and romantic; but, worse is the luck! he had not the body of the celebrated hidalgo, that thin and meagre apology for a body, on which material life failed to take a hold; one that could get through twenty nights without its breast-plate being unbuckled, and forty-eight hours on a handful of rice. On the contrary, Tartarin's body was a stout honest bully of a body, very fat, very weighty, most sensual and fond of coddling, highly touchy, full of low-class appetite and homely requirements--the short, paunchy body on stumps of the immortal Sancho Panza. Don Quixote and Sancho Panza in the one same man! you will readily comprehend what a cat-and-dog couple they made! what strife! what clapperclawing! Oh, the fine dialogue for Lucian or Saint-Evremond to write, between the two Tartarins--Quixote-Tartarin and Sancho-Tartarin! Quixote-Tartarin firing up on the stories of Gustave Aimard, and shouting, "Up and at 'em!" and Sancho-Tartarin thinking only of the rheumatics ahead, and murmuring, "I mean to stay at home." THE DUET QUIXOTE-TARTARIN SANCHO-TARTARIN [_Highly excited_] [_Quite calmly_] Cover yourself with glory, Tartarin, cover yourself with Tartarin. flannel. [_Still more excitedly_] [_Still more calmly_] Oh for the terrible double-barreled Oh for the thick knitted rifle! Oh for bowie-knives, waist-coats! lassos, and moccasins! and warm knee-caps! Oh for the welcome padded caps with ear-flaps! [_Above all self-control_] [_Ringing up the maid_] A battle-axe! fetch me a battle-axe! Now then, Jeannette, do bring up that chocolate! Whereupon Jeannette would appear with an unusually good cup of chocolate, just right in warmth, sweetly smelling, and with the play of light on watered silk upon its unctuous surface, and with succulent grilled steak flavored with anise-seed, which would set Sancho-Tartarin off on the broad grin, and into a laugh that drowned the shouts of Quixote-Tartarin. Thus it came about that Tartarin of Tarascon never had left Tarascon. OF "MENTAL MIRAGE," AS DISTINGUISHED FROM LYING From 'Tartarin of Tarascor' Under one conjunction of circumstances, Tartarin did however once almost start out upon a great voyage.