Library of the World's Best Literature, Ancient and Modern — Volume 13
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Library of the World's Best Literature, Ancient and Modern — Volume 13
Literature -- Collections
Mr. Macey, tailor and parish clerk, the latter of which functions
rheumatism had of late obliged him to share with a small-featured
young man who sat opposite him, held his white head on one side, and
twirled his thumbs with an air of complacency, slightly seasoned with
criticism. He smiled pityingly in answer to the landlord's appeal, and
said:--
"Ay, ay; I know, I know; but I let other folks talk. I've laid by now,
and gev up to the young uns. Ask them as have been to school at
Tarley; they've learned pernouncing; that's come up since my day."
"If you're pointing at me, Mr. Macey," said the deputy clerk, with an
air of anxious propriety, "I'm nowise a man to speak out of my place.
As the psalm says:--
"'I know what's right; nor only so,
But also practice what I know.'"
"Well, then, I wish you'd keep hold o' the tune when it's set for you;
if you're for practicing I wish you'd prac_tice_ that," said a large
jocose-looking man, an excellent wheelwright in his weekday capacity,
but on Sundays leader of the choir. He winked, as he spoke, at two of
the company who were known officially as "the bassoon" and "the key
bugle," in the confidence that he was expressing the sense of the
musical profession in Raveloe.
Mr. Tookey the deputy clerk, who shared the unpopularity common to
deputies, turned very red, but replied with careful moderation:--"Mr.
Winthrop, if you'll bring me any proof as I'm in the wrong, I'm not
the man to say I won't alter. But there's people set up their own ears
for a standard, and expect the whole choir to follow 'em. There may be
two opinions, I hope."
"Ay, ay," said Mr. Macey, who felt very well satisfied with this
attack on youthful presumption; "you're right there, Tookey: there's
allays two 'pinions; there's the 'pinion a man has of himsen, and
there's the 'pinion other folks have on him. There'd be two 'pinions
about a cracked bell, if the bell could hear itself."
"Well, Mr. Macey," said poor Tookey, serious amidst the general
laughter, "I undertook to partially fill up the office of parish clerk
by Mr. Crackenthorp's desire, whenever your infirmities should make
you unfitting; and it's one of the rights thereof to sing in the
choir--else why have you done the same yourself?"
"Ah! but the old gentleman and you are two folks," said Ben Winthrop.
"The old gentleman's got a gift. Why, the Squire used to invite him to
take a glass, only to hear him sing the 'Red Rovier'; didn't he, Mr.
Macey? It's a nat'ral gift. There's my little lad Aaron, he's got a
gift--he can sing a tune off straight, like a throstle. But as for
you, Master Tookey, you'd better stick to your 'Amens': your voice is
well enough when you keep it up in your nose. It's your inside as
isn't right made for music: it's no better nor a hollow stalk."
This kind of unflinching frankness was the most piquant form of joke
to the company at the Rainbow, and Ben Winthrop's insult was felt by
everybody to have capped Mr. Macey's epigram.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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