Library of the World's Best Literature, Ancient and Modern — Volume 13
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Library of the World's Best Literature, Ancient and Modern — Volume 13
Literature -- Collections
"Lor bless you!" said Mr. Macey, pausing, and smiling in pity at the
impotence of his hearers' imagination,--"why, I was all of a tremble:
it was as if I'd been a coat pulled by the two tails, like; for I
couldn't stop the parson, I couldn't take upon me to do that; and yet
I said to myself, I says, 'Suppose they shouldn't be fast married,
'cause the words are contrairy?' and my head went working like a mill,
for I was allays uncommon for turning things over and seeing all round
'em; and I says to myself, 'Is't the meanin' or the words as makes
folks fast i' wedlock?' For the parson meant right, and the bride and
bridegroom meant right. But then when I come to think on it, meanin'
goes but a little way i' most things, for you may mean to stick things
together and your glue may be bad, and then where are you? And so I
says to mysen, 'It isn't the meanin', it's the glue.' And I was
worreted as if I'd got three bells to pull at once, when we got into
the vestry, and they begun to sign their names. But where's the use o'
talking?--you can't think what goes on in a 'cute man's inside."
"But you held in for all that, didn't you, Mr. Macey?" said the
landlord.
"Ay, I held in tight till I was by mysen, wi' Mr. Drumlow, and then I
out wi' everything, but respectful, as I allays did. And he made light
on it, and he says:--'Pooh, pooh, Macey, make yourself easy,' he says,
'it's neither the meaning nor the words--it's the register does
it--that's the glue.' So you see he settled it easy; for parsons and
doctors know everything by heart, like, so as they aren't worreted wi'
thinking what's the rights and wrongs o' things, as I'n been many and
many's the time. And sure enough the wedding turned out all right,
on'y poor Mrs. Lammeter--that's Miss Osgood as was--died afore the
lasses were growed up; but for prosperity and everything respectable,
there's no family more looked on."
Every one of Mr. Macey's audience had heard this story many times, but
it was listened to as if it had been a favorite tune, and at certain
points the puffing of the pipes was momentarily suspended, that the
listeners might give their whole minds to the expected words. But
there was more to come; and Mr. Snell, the landlord, duly put the
leading question:--
"Why, old Mr. Lammeter had a pretty fortin, didn't they say, when he
come into these parts?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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