Life and Gabriella: The Story of a Woman's CourageGlasgow, Ellen Anderson Gholson
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Life and Gabriella: The Story of a Woman's Courage
Glasgow, Ellen Anderson Gholson
Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Virginia -- Fiction
But into Mrs. Fowler's face there had come the look with which she was
accustomed to receive the suggestion that her dinner parties were an
extravagance. That economy which she practised so rigidly, which was so
elastic to cover little pleasures and the minor comforts of life, broke
like a cobweb when she tried to stretch it over larger needs and
desires. The severity of her self-denial was directed entirely against
the trivial and the unessential. With regard to the indispensable
materials for happiness, she seemed to feel that she possessed an
unquestionable right to enjoy them at any cost; and she had reassured
Gabriella with an optimism which appeared perfectly genuine. After
talking to her the girl had felt that she might allow herself to be
happy if only George would change back into his old way.
Four months ago, at the beginning of her marriage, she had told herself
that she needed only the daily intimacy of life to make her understand
him. Now, after living with him, she felt that she was growing to
understand him less every hour--that the relation which ought to have
brought them spiritually closer, had ended by thrusting them to an
incalculable distance from each other. Of the nervous reactions which he
had suffered she knew nothing. All she saw clearly was that the widening
breach between them would soon become impassable unless it could be
filled by their new love for the child. The power to hold him must slip
from her hands to the child's, and she was more than ready, she was even
eager, to relinquish it. In the last few months her feeling for George
had altered, and, though she was hardly conscious of the change in
herself, her love for him had become less passionate and more maternal.
The tenderness was there, but the yearning, the delight in his mere
physical presence was gone. Like every other emotion that she had felt
in the past, her love for her husband had become absorbed in the
passion, the longing, the delight with which she enfolded the thought of
her child.
"I wonder if mother felt like this about me," she would say to herself,
and the wonder was like a cord drawing her back to her mother and to her
own babyhood. Then George would become strangely vague, strangely remote
in her thoughts; and her mother would seem nearer to her than everything
except the child under her heart.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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