Life and Gabriella: The Story of a Woman's CourageGlasgow, Ellen Anderson Gholson
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Life and Gabriella: The Story of a Woman's Courage
Glasgow, Ellen Anderson Gholson
Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Virginia -- Fiction
"I can't tell you," answered Gabriella. "What good would it do? George
was disgusting, that was all." She spoke sternly, for no lingering
tenderness softened the judgment of her youth and her injured pride. How
could she possibly have tenderness for a man who had tired of her in
four months, who had become so lost to common decency that he could let
her see him revoltingly drunk? And she had held her head so high, she
had so despised Jane for her weakness and folly! At the moment she knew
that she was helpless, but deep down within her she felt that this
helplessness would not last--that the wings of her soul were still
strong, still free, still untouched by the shame her body had suffered.
With a single effort she could break the net of passion, and escape into
the wonderful world which surrounded her. Like Jane, she had been a
fool, but, unlike Jane, she would not stay a fool always.
"You seem so hard, Gabriella," said Mrs. Fowler. "Is it because you are
young? Young people never make allowances."
The taste of bitterness rose to Gabriella's lips.
"I suppose I am hard," she answered, "and I am going to stay so. There
is safety in hardness."
Remembering Jane, remembering the hereditary weakness of the Carrs, who
had all married badly, she told herself that in hardness lay her
solitary refuge from despair. After all, it was better to be hard than
to break.
"You can't judge George quite as you would other men," began George's
mother, and she was aware after a minute that the maternal instinct had
in this instance led her to defeat.
"I am not judging other men," replied George's wife coldly; "I am
judging George." Against men as men she had never even thought of
cherishing a grievance. All her life she had looked to some man as to
the saviour of the family fortunes, and her vision was still true enough
to perceive that, as a human being, Archibald Fowler was finer and
bigger than his wife, that Billy was finer and bigger than Patty. She
had found men less the servants of mere instinct than she had found
women, less the passive and unresisting vehicles of the elemental
impulses. Then, too, they were so seldom the victims of life, and there
was in her nature a fierce contempt for a victim. She despised people
who submitted to circumstances, who resigned themselves to necessity, as
if resignation were a virtue instead of a vice.
"Well, you must try not to worry, dear; worry is so bad for you. I am so
sorry it happened. You won't mind my speaking to George, will you?"
Gabriella shook her head. "I don't care what you say to him."
"Do you feel able to come down to lunch?"
"Oh, yes, perfectly. I am simply dying for a cup of tea, and afterwards
I think I'll go out for a walk. One gets so stuffy and dull when one
stays in the house."
Her manner had changed as if by magic. In putting the thought of George
out of her mind she seemed to have put aside her resentment and
despondency.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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