Life and Gabriella: The Story of a Woman's CourageGlasgow, Ellen Anderson Gholson
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Life and Gabriella: The Story of a Woman's Courage
Glasgow, Ellen Anderson Gholson
Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Virginia -- Fiction
So her punishment had come! As Gabriella dropped the letter into her
lap, and looked at little Frances, so good and happy in her crib, she
felt that she was punished not only for her reckless marriage, but for
all the subterfuge, all the deceit which had followed it. She had not
told her mother the truth, for she, also, had been chiefly concerned
with "keeping up an appearance." For the purpose of shielding George,
who was blandly indifferent to her shielding, she had lied to her
mother, if not in words, yet in an evasion of the truth, and the result
was that her lies and her evasions had recoiled not on George's head,
but on her own. For George wouldn't care. So little value did he place
upon Mrs. Carr's good opinion, that he would not care even if Gabriella
were to tell her the truth. And if she had only been honest! If she had
only refused to lie because custom exacted that a wife should be willing
to lie in defense of her husband. Some obscure strain of dogmatic piety
struggled in the convulsed depths of her being, as if she had been
suddenly brought up against the vein of iron in her soul--against the
moral law, stripped bare of clustering delusions, which her ancestors
had known and fought for as "the Berkeley conscience." The Berkeley
conscience, bred for centuries on a militant faith, told her now that
she was punished because she had lied to her mother.
Then, as if this reversion to primitive theology had been merely an
automatic reaction of certain nerve cells, she saw and condemned the
childlike superstition. No, she was not punished so quickly; but she had
been a fool, and she was paying the price of her incredible folly. How
little, how pitifully little she knew of the world, after all! A year
ago, on that horrible night, she had thought that her lesson was
finished, but it was only beginning. Her immense, confiding ignorance
would lead her into other abysses. And again, as on the morning after
that night of revelation, she resolved passionately that she would not
stay a fool always--that she would not become a victim of life.
The empty bottle had slipped to one side of the crib, and little Frances
lay smiling at the friendly universe, with her wet mouth wide open and
her blue eyes, so like George's, sparkling with laughter. The down on
her head, as fine and soft as spun silk, made tiny rings over her pink
skull, which was as clear and delicate as an eggshell; and these golden
rings filled Gabriella with a tenderness so poignant that it brought
tears to her eyes. Whatever her mother may have thought about the world,
it was perfectly obvious that Frances Evelyn considered her part in it
remarkably jolly. To be a well baby in an amiable universe was her ideal
of felicity.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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