Life and Letters of Robert BrowningBrowning, Robert
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Life and Letters of Robert Browning
Browning, Robert
Browning, Robert, 1812-1889; Poets, English -- 19th century -- Biography
My dear Friend,--I well know you feel as you say, for her once and for
me now. Isa Blagden, perfect in all kindness to me, will have told you
something perhaps--and one day I shall see you and be able to tell you
myself as much as I can. The main comfort is that she suffered very
little pain, none beside that ordinarily attending the simple attacks
of cold and cough she was subject to--had no presentiment of the result
whatever, and was consequently spared the misery of knowing she was
about to leave us; she was smilingly assuring me she was 'better',
'quite comfortable--if I would but come to bed,' to within a few minutes
of the last. I think I foreboded evil at Rome, certainly from the
beginning of the week's illness--but when I reasoned about it, there
was no justifying fear--she said on the last evening 'it is merely the
old attack, not so severe a one as that of two years ago--there is no
doubt I shall soon recover,' and we talked over plans for the summer,
and next year. I sent the servants away and her maid to bed--so little
reason for disquietude did there seem. Through the night she slept
heavily, and brokenly--that was the bad sign--but then she would sit
up, take her medicine, say unrepeatable things to me and sleep again. At
four o'clock there were symptoms that alarmed me, I called the maid and
sent for the doctor. She smiled as I proposed to bathe her feet, 'Well,
you _are_ determined to make an exaggerated case of it!' Then came what
my heart will keep till I see her again and longer--the most perfect
expression of her love to me within my whole knowledge of her. Always
smilingly, happily, and with a face like a girl's--and in a few minutes
she died in my arms; her head on my cheek. These incidents so sustain
me that I tell them to her beloved ones as their right: there was no
lingering, nor acute pain, nor consciousness of separation, but God took
her to himself as you would lift a sleeping child from a dark, uneasy
bed into your arms and the light. Thank God. Annunziata thought by her
earnest ways with me, happy and smiling as they were, that she must have
been aware of our parting's approach--but she was quite conscious, had
words at command, and yet did not even speak of Peni, who was in
the next room. Her last word was when I asked 'How do you feel?'
--'Beautiful.' You know I have her dearest wishes and interests to
attend to _at once_--her child to care for, educate, establish properly;
and my own life to fulfil as properly,--all just as she would require
were she here. I shall leave Italy altogether for years--go to London
for a few days' talk with Arabel--then go to my father and begin to try
leisurely what will be the best for Peni--but no more 'housekeeping'
for me, even with my family. I shall grow, still, I hope--but my root is
taken and remains.
I know you always loved her, and me too in my degree. I shall always be
grateful to those who loved her, and that, I repeat, you did.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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