Street just now, I saw between Numbers 170 and 211 ( (primary parenthesis) but you would like to know what I was going along that odorous street for. Well, it was to inquire how the pen with which I am now writing--( (2nd parenthesis) you see it is a new-fangled fountain pen, warranted to cure the worst writing and always spell properly) (2nd parenthesis)--works, because it would not work properly this morning. And the nice young woman who took it from me--( (3rd parenthesis) as who should say you old foodle!) (3rd parenthesis) inked her own fingers enormously ( (4th parenthesis) which I told her I was pleased they were her fingers rather than mine) (4th parenthesis)--But she only smole. ( (5th parenthesis) Close by was another shop where they sold hose--( (6th or 7th parenthesis) indiarubber, not knitted)--( (nth parenthesis) and warranted to let water through, not keep it out); and I asked for a garden syringe, thinking such things likely to be kept by hosiers of that sort--and they said they had not any, but found they had a remnant cheap ( (nnth parenthesis) price 3 shillings) which is less than many people pay for the other hosiers' hose) (end of parentheses) a doorpost at the side of the doorway of some place of business with this remarkable notice: RULING GIRLS WANTED. Don't you think you had better apply at once? Jack will give you a character, I am sure, on the side of the art of ruling, and I will speak for the science--also of hereditary (on mother's side) instinct. Well I am not sure about the pen yet--but there is no room for any more. Ever your loving Dad. Epistolary composition on the model of a Gladstonian speech to a deputation on women's suffrage. [The other is to his daughter, Mrs. Harold Roller, who had sent him from abroad a friend's autograph-book for a signature:--] Hodeslea, Eastbourne, November 1, 1893. The epistle of Thomas to the woman of the house of Harold. 1. I said it was an autograph-book; and so it was. 2. And naughty words came to the root of my tongue. 3. And the recording angel dipped his pen in the ink and squared his elbows to write. 4. But I spied the hand of the lovely and accomplished but vagabond daughter. 5. And I smole; and spoke not; nor uttered the naughty words. 6. So the recording angel was sold; 7. And was about to suck his pen. 8. But I said Nay! give it to me. 9. And I took the pen and wrote on the book of the Autographs letters pleasant to the eye and easy to read. 10. Such as my printers know not: nor the postman--nor the correspondent, who riseth in his wrath and curseth over my epistle ordinary. [This to his youngest daughter, which, in jesting form, conveys a good deal of sound sense, was the sequel to a discussion as to the advisability of a University education for her own and another boy:--] Hodeslea, Eastbourne, May 9, 1892. Dearest Babs,