Once, after they were married, Ida had gone back, for six months, to
the private school that she might have money to send her mother in a
sudden financial stress. Haldane thought of that, too, with keen
regret that he had not been able to earn the necessary money
himself--he was ill that winter. Yes, surely, Ida had been splendid in
the matter of her mother. "It's a pity that things weren't so that
Ida's mother could have come to see us here in New York," Haldane
said, as he opened the envelope--"come before Ida died." The letter
itself was not long. When he had finished with it--and this only after
a third reading--he laid it down slowly and stared silently at the
fine old-fashioned characters.
"Great God!" he said at last, gently, "the poor old lady!"
"My dear daughter," ran the letter, "mother is so sorry to have to
tell you this now when all your thoughts and energies must be centred
on the wonderful event so soon to happen. It seems to me I've always
been calling on you for help and you have done so much. Oh, it hurts
me to have to worry and distress you now, dear.
"The truth is that Mr. Liddell is going to foreclose the mortgage on
the house. He says he cannot wait longer than a week or two. I've
tried every way to get the interest, but I can't do it. The little I
had left, your cousin George invested for me, and now he tells me--I
don't understand it at all--that it's quite lost. I know you'll say I
was foolish to let George have it, but he promised so much--and George
has been so good to me. I won't ask you and Leonard to give me a home;
that would be unfair to you both. I'm so distressed and upset. Write
me, if you can, and tell me what you think is best." And there was
more in the same distressed key.
Haldane was as near his decision, perhaps, when he laid down the
letter as hours afterward when he stumbled to bed. It was strangely
clear to him--the attitude he was to assume. Not that he did not make
a fight of it, and a sharp fight. But, after all, he knew from the
first how it was destined to end.
"I asked for my chance to make it up to her," he muttered. "Well, I've
got it, haven't I? Isn't this it? If where _she_ is she knows
to-night that I never loved her--sometimes even hated her--then she
knows that I'll try to pay it back to her in the only way I can. I'll
bring her mother here to live with me.... My God! and I wanted so the
_freedom_ of it all again, just to feel _free_.... No, this
is it--my way--I'll take it. It's what I owe Ida. I can't reason it
out logically and I dare say the world would put it straight that I
didn't have to do this--take her mother--but I will. I wouldn't feel
right about it in this life or in any next if I didn't. Yes, that's
the reparation."
Haldane's last thought before he slept that night, as it was in the
fortnight before she came, was, "What is Ida's mother like? I wonder
if--she is like--like Ida?"
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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