With a sad heart, I once more pursued my lonely way. Soon it began to
rain, and the night came on, dark and dismal, cold and stormy, with
a high wind that drove the rain against my face with pitiless fury.
I entered a thick wood where no ray of light could penetrate, and at
almost every step, I sank over shoes in the mud. Thus I wandered on,
reflecting bitterly on my wretched fate. All the superstitious fears,
which a convent life is so well calculated to produce, again assailed
me, and I was frightened at my own wild imaginings. I thought of the
nuns who had been murdered so cruelly, and I listened to the voice of
the storm, as to the despairing wail of a lost soul. The wind swept
fiercely through the leafless branches, now roaring like a tornado,
again rising to a shrill shriek, or a prolonged whistle, then sinking to
a hollow murmer, and dying away in a low sob which sounded to my excited
fancy like the last convulsive sigh of a breaking heart. Once and again
I paused, faint and dizzy with hunger and fatigue, feeling as though
I could go no further. But there was no alternative. I must go on or
perish. And go on I did, though, as I now look back upon that night's
experience, I wonder how I managed to do so. But a kind providence,
undoubtedly, watched over me, and good angels guided me on my way. Some
time in the night, I think it must have been past twelve o'clock, I
became so very weary I felt that I must rest awhile at all events. It
was so dark I could not see a step before me, but I groped my way to a
fence, seated myself on a stone with my head resting against the rails,
and in that position I fell asleep.
How long I slept, I do not know. I think it must have been some hours.
When I awoke, my clothes were drenched with rain, and I was so stiff and
lame, I could hardly move. But go I must, so I resolved to make the
best of it, and hobble along as well as I could. At last I reached the
village, but it was not yet morning, and I dared not stop. I kept on
till daylight, and as soon as I thought people were up, I went up to
a house and rapped. A woman came to the door, and I asked if she would
allow me to go in, and dry my clothes, and I would have added, get some
breakfast, but her looks restrained me. They were getting breakfast, but
did not invite me to partake of it, and I dared not ask for anything to
eat. When my clothes were dry, I thanked them for the use of their fire,
and inquired how far it was to the next village. They said the next town
was Highgate, but they did not know the distance.
My tears flowed freely when I again found myself in the street, cold,
hungry, almost sick, and entirely friendless. What should I do? What
would become of me? One thought alone gave courage to my desponding
heart, buoyed up my sinking spirits, and restored strength to my weary
limbs. I was striving for liberty, that priceless boon, so dear to every
human heart. I might, perhaps, obtain it. At least, I would try.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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