The question which Jesus had put to the Twelve on the road in Cæsarea
must have been the beginning of their complete conversion to the new
truth. What need did Jesus have to know what others thought of Him? Such
a curiosity springs up only in doubtful souls, in those who do not know
themselves, in the weak who cannot read in their own hearts, in the
blind who are not sure of the ground on which they stand. For any one of
us such a question is legitimate, but not for Jesus. No one of us knows
really who he is, no one knows with any certainty what is his real
nature, his mission, and the name which he has a right to call his own,
the eternal name which fits our destiny. The name which was given to us
in infancy, together with the salt and water of baptism, the name set
down on the municipal register, and written in the records of birth and
of death, the name which the mother calls with so much gentleness in the
morning, which the sweetheart murmurs with so much desire at night, the
name which is cut for the last time on the rectangle of the tomb, that
is not our real name. Every one of us has a secret name which expresses
our invisible and authentic essence, and which we ourselves will never
know until the day of the New Birth, until the full light of the
resurrection.
Few of us dare to ask ourselves, “Who am I?” and there are still fewer
who can answer. The question “Who art thou?” is the most tremendous, the
most weighty which man can put to man. Other human beings are for each
of us a sealed mystery even in the moments of supreme passion, when two
souls desperately essay to become one. We are all of us a mystery even
to ourselves. Unknown to others, we live among others unknown to us.
Much of our wretchedness comes from this universal ignorance. Here is a
man who acts like a king and believes himself a king and in the absolute
he is really only a poor servant, predestined from the beginning of time
to dependent mediocrity. Here is another dressed and acting like a
judge; look at him well; he is born a dry-goods dealer, his real place
is in the country fair. That man there who writes poetry has not
understood his inner voice; he should be a goldsmith, because gold which
can be turned into coin suits his taste, and he is attracted by
filigree, mosaics, chasing, imitation jewels. This other man who is at
the head of an army ought to be teaching school. What an expert and
eloquent professor he might have become! And that fellow there, shouting
in the public places, heading a revolution, calling on the people to
revolt, is a gardener who has mistaken his calling; the red of tomatoes,
long lines of onions, garlic, and cabbages would be the fit reward of
his true mission. This other man here, on the contrary, who, cursing his
fate, prunes his grape-vines and spreads the manure on the cultivated
earth, should have studied in law-books the art of quibbling: no one can
invent sophisms and verbal tricks as he can, and even now, how much
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