Life of John Coleridge Patteson : Missionary Bishop of the Melanesian IslandsYonge, Charlotte M. (Charlotte Mary)
Religion
Life of John Coleridge Patteson : Missionary Bishop of the Melanesian Islands
Yonge, Charlotte M. (Charlotte Mary)
Missions -- Melanesia; Patteson, John Coleridge, 1827-1871
'Now, at all events, I must pray that with a single honest desire for
God's glory, I may look straight onwards towards the mark. I must forget
what is behind, I must not lose time in analysing my state of mind to
see how, during years past, this wish has worked itself out. I trust the
wish is from God, and now I must forget myself, and think only of the
work whereunto I am called. But it is hard to flesh and blood to think
of the pain I am causing my dear dear Father, and the pain I am causing
to others outside my own circle here. But they are all satisfied that
I am doing what is right, and it would surprise you, although you know
them so well, to hear the calmness with which we talk about outfits.'
A heavy grief was even now on the family. The beloved, 'Uncle Frank,' so
often affectionately mentioned, had been failing for some time. He
had taken a journey abroad, with one of his daughters, in hopes of
refreshment and invigoration, but the fatigue and excitement were more
than he could bear; he returned home, and took to his bed. He suffered
no pain, and was in a heavenly state of mind indeed, a most blessed
death-bed, most suggestive of comfort and peace to all who survive as a
most evident proof of what the close of life may be, if only 'that life
is spent faithfully in doing our duty to God'--as Patteson wrote to his
old friend, Miss Neill.
'And now one word about myself, which at such a time I should not
obtrude upon you, but that the visit of the Bishop of New Zealand made
it necessary for me to speak.
'I am going with him to work, if all is well, at the Antipodes,
believing that the growing desire for missionary work, which for
years has been striving within me, ought no longer to be resisted, and
trusting that I am not mistaken in supposing that this is the line of
duty that God has marked out for me.
'You may be sure that all this is done with the full consent and
approbation of my dear Father. He and the Bishop had a great deal of
conversation about it, and I left it entirely for them to determine.
That it will be a great trial to us all at Christmas when we sail, I
cannot conceal from myself; it is so great a separation that I cannot
expect ever to see my dear Father, perhaps not any of those I love best,
again in this world. But if you all know that I am doing, or trying to
do, what is right, you will all be happy about me; and what has just
been taking place at the Manor House teaches us to look, on a little to
a blessed meeting in a better place soon. It is from no dissatisfaction
at my present position, that I am induced to take this step. I have been
very happy at Alfington; and I hope to be ordained Priest, on the 24th
of September, with a calm mind. I trust I am not following any sudden
hasty impulse, but obeying a real call to a real work, and (in the
midst of much self-seeking and other alloy) not wholly without a sincere
desire to labour for the honour and glory of God.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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