[Footnote 61: Dr. Woolriche, an old and valued friend of mine, to whose skill, on the occasion here alluded to, I was indebted for my life.] * * * * * LETTER. 207. TO MR. MURRAY. "December 31, 1814. "A thousand thanks for Gibbon: all the additions are very great improvements. "At last I must be _most_ peremptory with you about the _print_ from Phillips's picture: it is pronounced on all hands the most stupid and disagreeable possible: so do, pray, have a new engraving, and let me see it first; there really must be no more from the same plate. I don't much care, myself; but every one I honour torments me to death about it, and abuses it to a degree beyond repeating. Now, don't answer with excuses; but, for my sake, have it destroyed: I never shall have peace till it is. I write in the greatest haste. "P.S. I have written this most illegibly; but it is to beg you to destroy the print, and have another 'by particular desire.' It must be d----d bad, to be sure, since every body says so but the original; and he don't know what to say. But do _do_ it: that is, burn the plate, and employ a new _etcher_ from the other picture. This is stupid and sulky." * * * * * On his arrival in town, he had, upon enquiring into the state of his affairs, found them in so utterly embarrassed a condition as to fill him with some alarm, and even to suggest to his mind the prudence of deferring his marriage. The die was, however, cast, and he had now no alternative but to proceed. Accordingly, at the end of December, accompanied by his friend Mr. Hobhouse, he set out for Seaham, the seat of Sir Ralph Milbanke, the lady's father, in the county of Durham, and on the 2d of January, 1815, was married. "I saw him stand Before an altar with a gentle bride; Her face was fair, but was not that which made The Starlight of his Boyhood;--as he stood Even at the altar, o'er his brow there came The self-same aspect, and the quivering shock That in the antique Oratory shook His bosom in its solitude; and then-- As in that hour--a moment o'er his face, The tablet of unutterable thoughts Was traced,--and then it faded as it came, And he stood calm and quiet, and he spoke The fitting vows, but heard not his own words, And all things reel'd around him; he could see Not that which was, nor that which should have been-- But the old mansion, and the accustom'd hall, And the remember'd chambers, and the place, The day, the hour, the sunshine, and the shade, All things pertaining to that place and hour, And her, who was his destiny, came back, And thrust themselves between him and the light:-- What business had they there at such a time?"[62]