I did. He advised me to be off to-day, or he would write home to stop my
pay. There was no getting in a word, it went on like a flood. I listened
to it all calmly. He lied to my face by saying that I had five hundred
florins salary[10]--called me the most opprobrious names--oh, I really
cannot bring myself to write you all! At last, when my blood was
boiling, I could hold out no longer, and said: "Then your Serene
Highness is not satisfied with me?" "What! do you mean to threaten me,
you rascal, you villain? There is the door; I will have nothing more to
do with such a wretched fellow!" At last I said, "Neither will I with
you." "Then be off!" As I went I said, "Let it be so then; to-morrow you
shall hear from me by letter." Tell me now, dear father, should I not
have had to say this sooner or later? Now listen. My honour comes before
everything to me, and I know that it is so with you also. Have no care
for me. I am so certain of success here that I might have resigned even
without a cause. As I have had very good cause, and that three times, it
is no fault of mine; _au contraire_, I was a cowardly rascal twice, and
the third time I could not be so again. As long as the Archbishop is
here I will give no concert. Your idea that I shall lower myself in
the opinion of the Emperor or of the nobility is entirely mistaken. The
Archbishop is hated here, and most of all by the Emperor. That is his
real grievance, that the Emperor has not invited him to Laxenburg. I
will send you some calculations as to money by the next post to convince
you that I shall not starve here. For the rest I entreat you to keep up
your spirits, for I consider that my good fortune is beginning now, and
I hope that it will be yours also. Write to me privately that you are
pleased--for indeed you may be so--and find fault heartily with me in
public, so that no blame may attach to you. But if the Archbishop offers
you the least impertinence come to me at once in Vienna. We can all
three live on my earnings, I assure you on my word, but I would rather
you held out a year longer. Do not write to me any more at the Residence
or by the mail. I want to hear nothing more of Salzburg. I hate the
Archbishop to frenzy. But write to me here, and tell me you are pleased,
for only that is now wanting to make my happiness complete.
He carried out His determination, and writes to his father again on May
12:--
You know by my last letter that I sent in my resignation to the Prince
on May 9, because he himself ordered it: for in two previous audiences
he had said to me, "Take yourself off, if you will not serve me
properly!" He will certainly deny it, but it is as true as the heavens
above us. What wonder, then, that after being abused and vilified till I
was quite
{RELEASE.}
(180)
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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