Life's Handicap: Being Stories of Mine Own PeopleKipling, Rudyard
History
Life's Handicap: Being Stories of Mine Own People
Kipling, Rudyard
India -- History -- British occupation, 1765-1947 -- Fiction; India -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Short stories, English
After this he was silent for a little, and I made sure that he must go
or I awake ere long: but presently he speaks again (and very softly)
that I was a fool to care for such follies as those he had taken from
me, and that ere he went he would only ask me for a few other trifles
such as no man, or for matter of that boy either, would keep about him
in this country. And so it happened that he took from out of my very
heart as it were, looking all the time into my face with my own eyes, as
much as remained to me of my boy’s soul and conscience. This was to me
a far more terrible loss than the two that I had suffered before. For
though, Lord help me, I had travelled far enough from all paths of
decent or godly living, yet there was in me, though I myself write it, a
certain goodness of heart which, when I was sober (or sick) made me very
sorry of all that I had done before the fit came on me. And this I lost
wholly: having in place thereof another deadly coldness at the heart. I
am not, as I have before said, ready with my pen, so I fear that what
I have just written may not be readily understood. Yet there be certain
times in a young man’s life, when, through great sorrow or sin, all the
boy in him is burnt and seared away so that he passes at one step to the
more sorrowful state of manhood: as our staring Indian day changes
into night with never so much as the gray of twilight to temper the
two extremes. This shall perhaps make my state more clear, if it be
remembered that my torment was ten times as great as comes in the
natural course of nature to any man. At that time I dared not think of
the change that had come over me, and all in one night: though I have
often thought of it since. ‘I have paid the price,’ says I, my teeth
chattering, for I was deadly cold, ‘and what is my return?’ At this time
it was nearly dawn, and Myself had begun to grow pale and thin against
the white light in the east, as my mother used to tell me is the custom
of ghosts and devils and the like. He made as if he would go, but my
words stopt him and he laughed--as I remember that I laughed when I ran
Angus Macalister through the sword-arm last August, because he said that
Mrs. Vansuythen was no better than she should be. ‘What return?’--says
he, catching up my last words--‘Why, strength to live as long as God or
the Devil pleases, and so long as you live my young master, my gift.’
With that he puts something into my hand, though it was still too dark
to see what it was, and when next I lookt up he was gone.
When the light came I made shift to behold his gift, and saw that it was
a little piece of dry bread.
THE INCARNATION OF KRISHNA MULVANEY
Wohl auf, my bully cavaliers,
We ride to church to-day,
The man that hasn’t got a horse
Must steal one straight away.
Be reverent, men, remember
This is a Gottes haus.
Du, Conrad, cut along der aisle
And schenck der whiskey aus.
HANS BREITMANN’S RIDE TO CHURCH.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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