Life's Handicap: Being Stories of Mine Own PeopleKipling, Rudyard
History
Life's Handicap: Being Stories of Mine Own People
Kipling, Rudyard
India -- History -- British occupation, 1765-1947 -- Fiction; India -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Short stories, English
‘But there was a black drop in it all, an’ it was a man in a black coat
that brought it. When th’ Primitive Methodist preacher came to Greenhow,
he would always stop wi’ Jesse Roantree, an’ he laid hold of me from th’
beginning. It seemed I wor a soul to be saved, and he meaned to do it.
At th’ same time I jealoused ‘at he were keen o’ savin’ ‘Liza Roantree’s
soul as well, and I could ha’ killed him many a time. An’ this went on
till one day I broke out, an’ borrowed th’ brass for a drink from ‘Liza.
After fower days I come back, wi’ my tail between my legs, just to see
‘Liza again. But Jesse were at home an’ th’ preacher--th’ Reverend Amos
Barraclough. ‘Liza said naught, but a bit o’ red come into her face as
were white of a regular thing. Says Jesse, tryin’ his best to be civil,
“Nay, lad, it’s like this. You’ve getten to choose which way it’s
goin’ to be. I’ll ha’ nobody across ma doorstep as goes a-drinkin’,
an’ borrows my lass’s money to spend i’ their drink. Ho’d tha tongue,
‘Liza,” sez he, when she wanted to put in a word ‘at I were welcome to
th’ brass, and she were none afraid that I wouldn’t pay it back. Then
the Reverend cuts in, seein’ as Jesse were losin’ his temper, an’ they
fair beat me among them. But it were ‘Liza, as looked an’ said naught,
as did more than either o’ their tongues, an’ soa I concluded to get
converted.’
‘Fwhat?’ shouted Mulvaney. Then, checking himself, he said softly, ‘Let
be! Let be! Sure the Blessed Virgin is the mother of all religion an’
most women; an’ there’s a dale av piety in a girl if the men would
only let ut stay there. I’d ha’ been converted myself under the
circumstances.’
‘Nay, but,’ pursued Learoyd with a blush, ‘I meaned it.’
Ortheris laughed as loudly as he dared, having regard to his business at
the time.
‘Ay, Ortheris, you may laugh, but you didn’t know yon preacher
Barraclough--a little white-faced chap, wi’ a voice as ‘ud wile a bird
off an a bush, and a way o’ layin’ hold of folks as made them think
they’d never had a live man for a friend before. You never saw him,
an’--an’--you never seed ‘Liza Roantree--never seed ‘Liza Roantree....
Happen it was as much ‘Liza as th’ preacher and her father, but anyways
they all meaned it, an’ I was fair shamed o’ mysen, an’ so I become what
they call a changed character. And when I think on, it’s hard to believe
as yon chap going to prayer-meetin’s, chapel, and class-meetin’s were
me. But I never had naught to say for mysen, though there was a deal o’
shoutin’, and old Sammy Strother, as were almost clemmed to death and
doubled up with the rheumatics, would sing out, “Joyful! Joyful!” and
‘at it were better to go up to heaven in a coal-basket than down to hell
i’ a coach an’ six. And he would put his poor old claw on my shoulder,
sayin’, “Doesn’t tha feel it, tha great lump? Doesn’t tha feel it?” An’
sometimes I thought I did, and then again I thought I didn’t, an’ how
was that?’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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