Life's Little Ironies: A set of tales with some colloquial sketches entitled A Few Crusted CharactersHardy, Thomas
General
Life's Little Ironies: A set of tales with some colloquial sketches entitled A Few Crusted Characters
Hardy, Thomas
Short stories, English; Wessex (England) -- Fiction
‘Of all the years of my growing up the ones that bide clearest in my
mind were eighteen hundred and three, four, and five. This was for two
reasons: I had just then grown to an age when a child’s eyes and ears
take in and note down everything about him, and there was more at that
date to bear in mind than there ever has been since with me. It was, as
I need hardly tell ye, the time after the first peace, when Bonaparte
was scheming his descent upon England. He had crossed the great Alp
mountains, fought in Egypt, drubbed the Turks, the Austrians, and the
Proossians, and now thought he’d have a slap at us. On the other side
of the Channel, scarce out of sight and hail of a man standing on our
English shore, the French army of a hundred and sixty thousand men and
fifteen thousand horses had been brought together from all parts, and
were drilling every day. Bonaparte had been three years a-making his
preparations; and to ferry these soldiers and cannon and horses across
he had contrived a couple of thousand flat-bottomed boats. These boats
were small things, but wonderfully built. A good few of ’em were so
made as to have a little stable on board each for the two horses that
were to haul the cannon carried at the stern. To get in order all
these, and other things required, he had assembled there five or six
thousand fellows that worked at trades—carpenters, blacksmiths,
wheelwrights, saddlers, and what not. O ’twas a curious time!
‘Every morning Neighbour Boney would muster his multitude of soldiers
on the beach, draw ’em up in line, practise ’em in the manoeuvre of
embarking, horses and all, till they could do it without a single
hitch. My father drove a flock of ewes up into Sussex that year, and as
he went along the drover’s track over the high downs thereabout he
could see this drilling actually going on—the accoutrements of the rank
and file glittering in the sun like silver. It was thought and always
said by my uncle Job, sergeant of foot (who used to know all about
these matters), that Bonaparte meant to cross with oars on a calm
night. The grand query with us was, Where would my gentleman land? Many
of the common people thought it would be at Dover; others, who knew how
unlikely it was that any skilful general would make a business of
landing just where he was expected, said he’d go either east into the
River Thames, or west’ard to some convenient place, most likely one of
the little bays inside the Isle of Portland, between the Beal and St.
Alban’s Head—and for choice the three-quarter-round Cove, screened from
every mortal eye, that seemed made o’ purpose, out by where we lived,
and which I’ve climmed up with two tubs of brandy across my shoulders
on scores o’ dark nights in my younger days. Some had heard that a part
o’ the French fleet would sail right round Scotland, and come up the
Channel to a suitable haven. However, there was much doubt upon the
matter; and no wonder, for after-years proved that Bonaparte himself
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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