East End (London, England) -- Fiction; London (England) -- Social conditions -- Fiction; Social settlements -- Fiction
In his early youth he had been embittered by a girl. It was the usual
story of love and no money, and the girl had chosen not to wait. When
success and good fortune came to him, he was indifferent to it. He
treated all women with a sort of good-natured contempt, thinking them
creatures of diseased nerves and hysterical affections. Necessary evils
distinctly, but of the two perhaps more evil than necessary. His sister
had been the one exception; he almost worshipped her. Then came her
story. A crisis which he had passed through, by an extraordinary power,
but once faced, he had resolutely killed, and hidden all traces of the
past. His sister never knew what agony she had brought into his life.
She believed that his perceptions were blunted, instead they were too
delicate to be obvious; he had encased them in reserve, and bore without
wincing because the worst pain stings into silence. Muriel had been a
revelation to him, her gaiety was so spontaneous, her brightness so
infectious. She had thrown her life, all dusty and human, into the glory
of the sunbeam, and she was strong. He had watched her with Jack
Hurstly, and he watched her afterwards. As a doctor her magnificent
healthiness appealed to him. He could not imagine her having nervous
prostration; as a man he marvelled at her. She knew that he loved her,
yet she could look him straight in the eyes and be frankly friendly.
It had become the purpose of his life to strengthen their friendship
into something more. For a long while he had struggled against it, but
it was a passion that found grace with his whole nature; and, when he
had come to the conclusion that strength lay in submission, Cynthia
needed him, and he laid down his love and his work to face the Arch Fear
of his life. If Cynthia should fail!
The last month had worn lines in his face, and his keen eyes in repose
looked sadder than ever. He had fought, and the worst was over; he had
watched and fenced, waited and listened, seized opportunities, avoided
dangers, guided and guarded, and slaved that Cynthia should be safe and
ignorant of his efforts. He had felt happier when Launcelot came, and
this afternoon had left her with a mind at rest.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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