Life Without and Life Within; or, Reviews, Narratives, Essays, and Poems.Fuller, Margaret
History
Life Without and Life Within; or, Reviews, Narratives, Essays, and Poems.
Fuller, Margaret
Essays; Literature -- History and criticism; Poetry
Sylvain was a person well proportioned to her lot in years, family, and
fortune. His personal beauty was not great, but of a noble description.
Repose marked his slow gesture, and the steady gaze of his large brown
eye; but it was a repose that would give way to a blaze of energy, when
the occasion called. In his stature, expression, and heavy coloring, he
might not unfitly be represented by the great magnolias that inhabit the
forests of that climate. His voice, like every thing about him, was rich
and soft, rather than sweet or delicate.
Mariana no sooner knew him than she loved; and her love, lovely as she
was, soon excited his. But O, it is a curse to woman to love first, or
most! In so doing she reverses the natural relations; and her heart can
never, never be satisfied with what ensues.
Mariana loved first, and loved most, for she had most force and variety
to love with. Sylvain seemed, at first, to take her to himself, as the
deep southern night might some fair star; but it proved not so.
Mariana was a very intellectual being, and she needed companionship.
This she could only have with Sylvain, in the paths of passion and
action. Thoughts he had none, and little delicacy of sentiment. The
gifts she loved to prepare of such for him he took with a sweet but
indolent smile; he held them lightly, and soon they fell from his grasp.
He loved to have her near him, to feel the glow and fragrance of her
nature, but cared not to explore the little secret paths whence that
fragrance was collected.
Mariana knew not this for a long time. Loving so much, she imagined all
the rest; and, where she felt a blank, always hoped that further
communion would fill it up. When she found this could never be,--that
there was absolutely a whole province of her being to which nothing in
his answered,--she was too deeply in love to leave him. Often, after
passing hours together beneath the southern moon, when, amid the sweet
intoxication of mutual love, she still felt the desolation of solitude,
and a repression of her finer powers, she had asked herself, Can I give
him up? But the heart always passionately answered, No! I may be
wretched with him, but I cannot live without him.
And the last miserable feeling of these conflicts was, that if the
lover--soon to be the bosom friend--could have dreamed of these
conflicts, he would have laughed, or else been angry, even enough to
give her up.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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