United States -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
He tried to formulate what he would care to say. But, perhaps just
because he was too tired to say it right, the life the robin in the
nearest tree was that moment celebrating in song seemed more important
than anything he had to say about his own feeling toward the things men
had thought about the human soul.
It was ten minutes before closing time, but suddenly he turned to his
class with: “Go out-of-doors and think about it. This is no day to sit
within and talk of philosophy. What men have thought about life in the
past is less important than what you feel about it to-day.” He paused,
then added, he could not have said why, “And don't let the shadow of
either belief or unbelief fall across the days that are here for you
now.” Again he stopped, then surprised himself by ending, “Philosophy
should quicken life, not deaden it.”
They were not slow in going, their astonishment in his wanting them to
go quickly engulfed in their pleasure in doing so. It was only Gretta
who lingered a moment, seeming too held by his manner in sending her out
into the sunshine to care about going there. He thought she was going to
come to the desk and speak to him. He was sure she wanted to. But at the
last she went hastily, and he thought, just before she turned her face
away, that it was a tear he saw on her lashes.
Strange! Was she unhappy, she through whom life surged so richly? And
yet was it not true, that where it gave much it exacted much? Feeling
much, and understanding what she felt, and feeling for what she
understood--must she also suffer much? Must one always pay?
He sighed, and began gathering together his papers. Thoughts about life
tired him to-day.
On the steps he paused, unreasonably enough a little saddened as he
watched some of them beginning a tennis game. Certainly they were losing
no time--eager to let go thoughts about life for its pleasures, very few
of them awake to that rich life he had tried to make them ready for.
He drooped still more wearily at the thought that perhaps the most real
gift he had for them was that unexpected ten minutes.
Remembering a book he must have from the library, he turned back. He
went to the alcove where the works on philosophy were to be found, and
was reaching up for the volume he wanted, when a sentence from a lowly
murmured conversation in the next aisle came to him across the stack of
books.
“That's all very well; we know, of course, that he doesn't believe, but
what will he do when it comes to _himself?_”
It arrested him, coming as it did from one of the girls who had just
left his class-room. He stood there motionless, his hand still reaching
up for the book.
“Do? Why, face it, of course. Face it as squarely as he's faced every
other fact of life.”
That was Gretta, and though, mindful of the library mandate for silence,
her tone was low, it was vibrant with a fine scorn.
“Well,” said the first speaker, “I guess he'll have to face it before
very long.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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