United States -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
Looking things squarely in the face, and it was the habit of a lifetime
to look things squarely in the face, he had not been long in seeing that
they were right. Things tired him now as they had not once tired him. He
had less zest at the beginning of the hour, more relief at the close
of it. He seemed stupid in not having seen it for himself, but possibly
many people were a little stupid in seeing that their own time was over.
Of course he had thought, in a vague way, that his working time couldn't
be much longer, but it seemed part of the way human beings managed with
themselves that things in even the very near future kept the remoteness
of future things.
Now he understood Gretta's troubled look and her tears. He knew how
those fine nerves of hers must have suffered, how her own mind had
wanted to leap to the aid of his, how her own strength must have
tormented her in not being able to reach his flagging powers. It seemed
part of the whole hardness of life that she who would care the most
would be the one to see it most understandingly.
What he was trying to do was to see it all very simply, in
matter-of-fact fashion, that there might be no bitterness and the least
of tragedy. It was nothing unique in human history he was facing. One
did one's work; then, when through, one stopped. He tried to feel that
it was as simple as it sounded, but he wondered if back of many of those
brief letters of resignation that came at quitting-time there was the
hurt, the desolation, that there was no use denying to himself was back
of his.
He hoped that most men had more to turn to. Most men of seventy-three
had grandchildren. That would help, surrounding one with a feeling of
the naturalness of it all. But that school had been his only child. And
he had loved it with the tenderness one gives a child. That in him which
would have gone to the child had gone to the school.
The woman whom he loved had not loved him; he had never married. His
life had been called lonely; but lonely though it undeniably had been,
the life he won from books and work and thinking had kept the chill from
his heart. He had the gift of drawing life from all contact with life.
Working with youth, he kept that feeling for youth that does for the
life within what sunshine and fresh air do for the room in which one
dwells.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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