England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; River life -- Fiction
“Well, Bill was a bit flattered, the carpenter being a very superior
sort of a man, and quite an artist in ’is way, an’ Bill sat down an’
let ’im do ’im with some stuff out of a can that made ’im look like a
Hindoo what ’ad been polished. Then Bob Pullin was done too, an’ when
they’d got their turbins on, the change in their appearance was
wonderful.
“‘Feels a bit stiff,’ ses Bill, working ’is mouth.
“‘That’ll wear off,’ ses the carpenter; ‘it wouldn’t be you if you
didn’t ’ave a grumble, Bill.’
“‘And mind and don’t spare ’im, Bill,’ ses Joe. ‘There’s two of you,
an’ if you only do wot’s expected of you, the mate ought to ’ave a easy
time abed this v’y’ge.’
“‘Let the mate start fust,’ ses Ted Hill. ‘He’s sure to start on you if
you only get in ’is way. Lord, I’d like to see his face when you start
on _’im_.
“Well, the two of ’em went ashore arter dark with the best wishes o’
all on board, an’ the rest of us sat down in the fo’c’s’le spekerlating
as to what sort o’ time the mate was goin’ to ’ave. He went ashore all
right, because Ted Hill see ’im go, an’ he noticed with partikler
pleasure as ’ow he was dressed very careful.
“It must ha’ been near eleven o’clock. I was sitting with Smith on the
port side o’ the galley, when we heard a ’ubbub approaching the ship.
It was the mate just coming aboard. He was without ’is ’at; ’is necktie
was twisted round ’is ear, and ’is shirt and ’is collar was all torn to
shreds. The second and third officers ran up to him to see what was the
matter, and while he was telling them, up comes the skipper.
“‘You don’t mean to tell me, Mr. Fingall,’ ses the skipper, in
surprise, ‘that you’ve been knocked about like that by them mild and
meek Hindoos?’
“‘Hindoos, sir?’ roared the mate. ‘Certainly not, sir. I’ve been
assaulted like this by five German sailor-men. And I licked ’em all.’
“‘I’m glad to hear that,’ ses the skipper; and the second and third
pats the mate on the back, just like you pat a dog you don’t know.
“‘Big fellows they was,’ ses he, ‘an’ they give me some trouble. Look
at my eye!’
“The second officer struck a match and looked at it, and it cert’n’y
was a beauty.
“‘I hope you reported this at the police station?’ ses the skipper.
“‘No, sir,’ ses the mate, holding up ’is ’ead. ‘I don’t want no p’lice
to protect me. Five’s a large number, but I drove ’em off, and I don’t
think they’ll meddle with any British fust officers again.’
“‘You’d better turn in,’ ses the second, leading him off by the arm.
“The mate limped off with him, and as soon as the coast was clear we
put our ’eads together and tried to make out how it was that Bill
Cousins and Bob ’ad changed themselves into five German sailor-men.
“‘It’s the mate’s pride,’ ses the carpenter. ‘He didn’t like being
knocked about by Hindoos.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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