England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; River life -- Fiction
“Every man ’ad a pint o’ beer, which Job paid for, not forgetting Smith
’isself, and Job closed ’is eyes with pleasure as ’e took his. Then
they began to talk about ’is accident, and Job showed ’em ’is leg and
described wot it felt like to be a teetotaler for seven weeks.
“‘And I’ll trouble you for that five pounds, Smith,’ ’e ses, smiling.
‘I’ve been without anything stronger than milk for seven weeks. I never
thought when I wrote that paper I was going to earn my own money.’
“‘None of us did, Job,’ ses Smith. ‘D’ye think that leg’ll be all right
agin? As good as the other, I mean?’
“‘Doctor ses so,’ ses Job.
“‘It’s wonderful wot they can do nowadays,’ ses Smith, shaking ’is
’ead.
“‘’Strordinary,’ ses Job; ‘where’s that five pounds, Smith?’
“‘You don’t want to put any sudden weight or anything like that on it
for a time, Job,’ ses Smith; ‘don’t get struggling or fighting,
whatever you do, Job.’
“‘’Tain’t so likely,’ ses Job; ‘d’ye think I’m a fool? Where’s that
five pounds, Smith?’
“‘Ah, yes,’ ses Smith, looking as though ’e’d just remembered
something. ‘I wanted to tell you about that, to see if I’ve done right.
I’m glad you’ve come in.’
“‘Eh?’ ses Job Brown, staring at ’im.
“‘Has your wife gone shopping to-day?’ ses Smith, looking at ’im very
solemn.
“Job Brown put ’is mug down on the table and turned as pale as ashes.
Then ’e got up and limped over to the bar.
“‘Wot d’yer mean’ he ses, choking.
“‘She said she thought o’ doing so,’ ses Smith, wiping a glass; ‘she
came in yesterday and asked for that five pounds she’d won. The doctor
came in with ’er and said she’d kept you from licker for seven weeks,
let alone a month; so, according to the paper, I ’ad to give it to ’er.
I ’ope I done right, Job?’
“Job didn’t answer ’im a word, good or bad. He just turned ’is back on
him, and, picking up ’is crutch and ’is stick, hobbled off ’ome. Henery
White tried to make ’im stop and ’ave another pint, but he wouldn’t. He
said he didn’t want ’is wife to find ’im out when she returned.”
BREVET RANK
The crew of the _Elizabeth Hopkins_ sat on deck in the gloaming, gazing
idly at the dusky shapes of the barges as they dropped silently down on
the tide, or violently discussing the identity of various steamers as
they came swiftly past. Even with these amusements the time hung
heavily, and they thought longingly of certain cosy bars by the
riverside to which they were wont to betake themselves in their spare
time.
To-night, in deference to the wishes of the skipper, wishes which
approximated closely to those of Royalty in their effects, they
remained on board. A new acquaintance of his, a brother captain, who
dabbled in mesmerism, was coming to give them a taste of his quality,
and the skipper, sitting on the side of the schooner in the faint light
which streamed from the galley, was condescendingly explaining to them
the marvels of hypnotism.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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