England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; River life -- Fiction
“‘It’ll be the oldest ones that’ll be the most determined,’ said the
schoolmaster, shaking is ’ead. ‘Wot are you going to do?’
“‘I don’t know,’ ses Foxy, ‘it’s so sudden. But they’ve got to ’ave
three witnesses, that’s one comfort. I’d like to tell Joe Chambers wot
I think of ’im and ’is precious sister.’
“It was very curious the way the women took it. One an’ all of ’em
pretended as it was an insult to the sex, and they said if Foxy Green
waited till ’e was asked to marry he’d wait long enough. Little chits
o’ gals o’ fourteen and fifteen was walking about tossing their ’eads
up and as good as saying they might ’ave Green’s farm for the asking,
but they wouldn’t ask. Old women of seventy and over said that if Foxy
wanted to marry them he’d ’ave to ask, and ask a good many times too.
“Of course, this was all very well in its way, but at the same time
three Claybury gals that was away in service was took ill and ’ad to
come ’ome, and several other women that was away took their holidays
before their relations knew anything about it. Almost every ’ouse in
Claybury ’ad got some female relation staying in it, and they was
always explaining to everybody why it was they ’ad come ’ome. None of
’em so much as mentioned Foxy Green.
“Women are artful creatures and think a lot of appearances. There
wasn’t one of ’em as would ha’ minded wot other folks said if they’d
caught Foxy, but they’d ha’ gone half crazy with shame if they’d tried
and not managed it. And they couldn’t do things on the quiet because of
the three witnesses. That was the ’ardship of it.
“It was the only thing talked about in Claybury, and Foxy Green soon
showed as he was very wide-awake. First thing ’e did was to send the
gal that used to do the dairy-work and the ’ouse-work off. Then ’e
bought a couple o’ large, fierce dogs and chained ’em up, one near the
front door and one near the back. They was very good dogs, and they bit
Foxy hisself two or three times so as to let ’im see that they knew wot
they was there for.
“He took George Smith, a young feller that used to work on the farm,
into the ’ouse, and for the fust week or two ’e rather enjoyed the
excitement. But when ’e found that ’e couldn’t go into the village, or
even walk about ’is own farm in safety, he turned into a reg’lar
woman-hater.
“The artful tricks those women ’ad wouldn’t be believed. One day when
Foxy was eating ’is dinner William Hall drove up to the gate in a cart,
and when George came out to know wot ’e wanted, ’e said that he ’ad
just bought some pigs at Rensham and would Foxy like to make fust offer
for ’em.
“George went in, and when ’e came out agin he said William Hall was to
go inside. He ’eld the dog while William went by, and as soon as Foxy
’eard wot ’e wanted ’e asked ’im to wait till ’e’d finished ’is dinner,
and then he’d go out and ’ave a look at ’em.
“‘I was wantin’ some pigs bad,’ he ses, ‘and the worst of it is I can’t
get out to buy any as things are.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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