London (England) -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Women -- Fiction
The esoteric conversation was engaged. Lilian sat entranced by the
fineness and the diminutiveness and the disconcerting elegance of the
display ranged abroad for her on the glass counter. She was glad that
through culpable sloth she had done absolutely nothing as yet with her
own needle. It was the books from Dr. Samson that had aroused her to
the need for action of some sort, for she had had no wise woman to
murmur in her eager ear the traditions and the Spanish etiquette of
centuries of civilized maternity.
"I shall bring Gertie to see these to-morrow," she thought. "It will
please her frightfully to come, and she’ll stop me from being too
extravagant. Only I must arrange it so that her work won’t be
interfered with. Perhaps at lunch time. Never do to upset discipline
right at the start!"
And she asked to see still more stock. The articles stimulated her
memory and her imagination into a kind of tranquil and yet rapturous
contemplation of the events, voluptuous, tender and tragic, which had
set her where she was. The thrill of conception, the long patience of
gestation, the coming terror of labour mingled all together in her now
mystical mind. Her destiny had been changed, or at least it was gravely
diverted. Instead of glittering in public as the lovely darling and
blossom of luxurious civilization, and in private rendering a man to the
highest possible degree happy--instead of this she was secretly and
obscurely building a monument, in her body and also in her heart, to
Felix--Felix whom already she had raised to be the perfect man, Felix
who might have been alive then if she had not one evening behaved like a
child, or if his sense of his duty towards her had not been so
imperious. (Her commonsense had at last cured her of regarding herself
as his murderess.) Whether she had loved him to the height of which she
was capable of passionate love was doubtful. But she had profoundly
admired him; she had been passionately grateful to him for his love of
her; and, come what might when her beauty was restored to its empire, no
other man could ever stand to her in the relation in which Felix had
stood. He had set his imprint upon her and created her a woman. And so
she was creating him a god.
All these movements of her brooding mind originated from the spectacle
of the articles on the counter. They did not prevent her from discussing
layettes with the bright, rosy, shop-girl. That innocent, charming and
unimaginative young creature fingered the treasures with the casualness
of use. For her layettes were layettes, existing of and for themselves;
they connoted nothing.
PRINTED IN ENGLAND BY CASSELL & COMPANY, LIMITED, LONDON, E.C.4.
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WORKS BY THE SAME AUTHOR
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