London (England) -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Women -- Fiction
Although they took the floor early in the dance, when only two other
couples had begun to dance, it was impossible for her to be nervous
within his arm. Half the room gazed at her, for she had attracted
attention from the first. She knew that half the room was gazing at
her, and she liked it. She guessed that half the room was saying: "Look
at that fresh young creature who’s with that middle-aged man--she must
be really very young." And she liked it. She liked to show herself with
the man who was more than old enough to be her father, worn by knowledge
and experience and the corrupting of the world; to contrast her untried
simplicity--the bloom of the virginal scarcely gone from it--with his
grey hairs and his wrinkled, disillusioned, passive eyes. She was happy
in the thought that everybody knew that she must have given herself to
him, and that there was something strange, sinister, and even odious in
her abandonment. He had used the word "perverse." She did not wholly
understand the word, but it appealed to her, and for her it expressed
her mood.
She had noticed, in the room, how the women no longer unquestionably
young were more consciously and carefully charming towards their men,
receiving adulation but rendering it back; whereas the unquestionably
young were more negligent and far more egotistic. And so she behaved
like one no longer unquestionably young. She glanced up at her partner
with ravishing, ecstatic smiles; she publicly adored him. And she was
glad that her green and gold frock with its long arm-holes was not of
the Wigmore Street cut, but quite other in origin and spirit and in its
effect upon the imagination.
The dancing had by this time become general, but the olive-tinted
temptresses were still prominent in the throng, and sometimes she
touched them in the curves of the dance. She knew where they beat her
and where she beat them. And it was vouchsafed to her from the eyes of
Felix that she was lovely and marvellous. She felt intensely,
inexpressibly happy, and more than happy--triumphant. Her quiet,
obstinate resentment against the domestic policy of her father died out,
and she forgave him as she danced. She thought with a secret sigh
almost painful in its relief:
"Thank God I have fulfilled myself and succeeded not too late!"
She had premonitions of power, a foretaste of dominion. Felix was hers.
She could influence him. She could re-make him. And for the thousandth
time she breathed to him in her soul: "I have made you happy, but I will
make you more happy--infinitely more happy. You don’t know yet what I
am capable of." He danced very correctly and quite nicely,--rather
stiff, of course, but with a certain clever abandonment of his body to
the rhythm. She thought: "With what women did he learn to dance? He
must have danced a lot. Never will I ask! Never!" The fox-trot ended.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account