London (England) -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Women -- Fiction
"Pardon me, madam. I couldn’t go to bed. I couldn’t sleep. And I
thought of the candles. It was too much for me. I had to bring them.
If I was wrong, pardon me.... _They_ will be here soon." She threw
herself down on her knees at the foot of the bed. She had spoken in
French. The doctor interpreted.
"Tell her I thank her very much," said Lilian, "and ask her to go to
bed. She’ll have her work to do to-morrow, poor thing!"
Jacqueline rose. Lilian took her hand and turned away.
"And this came," Jacqueline added, pointing to a package in tissue-paper
that lay on a chair. "The night porter has only just brought it up, and
as I was coming in with the candles...."
Lilian removed the tissue-paper and saw a magnificent wreath of lilies,
far finer than anything in her experience, a wreath for an imperial
monarch. In the middle was a white envelope. She opened the envelope;
it contained two French bank-notes for five hundred francs each. No
signature! Not a word!
"She has got her money," thought Lilian. "How?" And, placing the wreath
on Felix’s feet, she burst into tears.
Jacqueline had vanished. Suddenly Lilian began to stride to and fro
across the room. She was full of youth and force. She was full of fury
and resentment. The moving muscles of her splendid, healthy body could
be discerned through her black dress. She frightened the doctor.
"Ah!" she cried, with a gesture towards the wreath, "she is the only one
that understands that I don’t _want_ to be comforted! Nobody else has
understood. I expect she just heard that he was dead, and she doesn’t
know that I killed him; but she understood. _She_ understood." The
doctor, quite mystified, seized her arm to soothe her, and was
astonished at her strength as she shook him off. She was like a tigress.
Nevertheless, she let herself be persuaded to follow him into her own
room. There her eye caught the toilet preparations which the courtesan
had bestowed on her.
"And she gave me these!" Lilian laughed, hesitated, and added fiercely:
"I will take them back with me! I will never use them, but I will keep
them for ever and ever!" And she cast them into one of the open trunks.
Then she said calmly: "Of course I know it was because of the window of
the car being broken, and it would have been all right if the engine
hadn’t stopped. But it was my silly, silly idea to go out for a drive
at night.... I can’t help it! I did kill him! He’d have been alive
now if I hadn’t behaved myself like a perfect child!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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