Lincoln's yarns and stories : $b A complete collection of the funny and witty anecdotes that made Lincoln famous as America's greatest story tellerMcClure, Alexander K. (Alexander Kelly)
History
Lincoln's yarns and stories : $b A complete collection of the funny and witty anecdotes that made Lincoln famous as America's greatest story teller
McClure, Alexander K. (Alexander Kelly)
Lincoln, Abraham, 1809-1865 -- Anecdotes
Grace married a Kansas banker, and became Grace Bedell Billings.
LINCOLN AS A DANCER.
Lincoln made his first appearance in society when he was first sent to
Springfield, Ill., as a member of the State Legislature. It was not
an imposing figure which he cut in a ballroom, but still he was
occasionally to be found there. Miss Mary Todd, who afterward became
his wife, was the magnet which drew the tall, awkward young man from his
den. One evening Lincoln approached Miss Todd, and said, in his peculiar
idiom:
“Miss Todd, I should like to dance with you the worst way.” The young
woman accepted the inevitable, and hobbled around the room with him.
When she returned to her seat, one of her companions asked mischievously:
“Well, Mary, did he dance with you the worst way.”
“Yes,” she answered, “the very worst.”
SIMPLY PRACTICAL HUMANITY.
An instance of young Lincoln’s practical humanity at an early period of
his life is recorded in this way:
One evening, while returning from a “raising” in his wide neighborhood,
with a number of companions, he discovered a stray horse, with saddle
and bridle upon him. The horse was recognized as belonging to a man who
was accustomed to get drunk, and it was suspected at once that he was
not far off. A short search only was necessary to confirm the belief.
The poor drunkard was found in a perfectly helpless condition, upon the
chilly ground. Abraham’s companions urged the cowardly policy of leaving
him to his fate, but young Lincoln would not hear to the proposition.
At his request, the miserable sot was lifted on his shoulders, and he
actually carried him eighty rods to the nearest house.
Sending word to his father that he should not be back that night, with
the reason for his absence, he attended and nursed the man until the
morning, and had the pleasure of believing that he had saved his life.
HAPPY FIGURES OF SPEECH.
On one occasion, exasperated at the discrepancy between the aggregate of
troops forwarded to McClellan and the number that same general reported
as having received, Lincoln exclaimed: “Sending men to that army is like
shoveling fleas across a barnyard--half of them never get there.”
To a politician who had criticised his course, he wrote: “Would you have
me drop the War where it is, or would you prosecute it in future with
elder stalk squirts charged with rosewater?”
When, on his first arrival in Washington as President, he found himself
besieged by office-seekers, while the War was breaking out, he said: “I
feel like a man letting lodgings at one end of his house while the other
end is on fire.”
A FEW “RHYTHMIC SHOTS.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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