The necessity of this order, though not quite apparent, will be more obvious when it is remembered that “shackasses” are mules, carry mountain howitzers, which are fired from the backs of that much-abused but valuable animal; and the immediate occasion for the “shackasses” was that two regiments of rebel infantry were at that moment discovered ascending a hill immediately behind our batteries. The “shackasses,” with the howitzers loaded with grape and canister, were soon on the ground. The mules squared themselves, as they well knew how, for the shock. A terrific volley was poured into the advancing column, which immediately broke and retreated. Two hundred and seventy-eight dead bodies were found in the ravine next day, piled closely together as they fell, the effects of that volley from the backs of the “shackasses.” JOKE WAS ON LINCOLN. Mr. Lincoln enjoyed a joke at his own expense. Said he: “In the days when I used to be in the circuit, I was accosted in the cars by a stranger, who said, ‘Excuse me, sir, but I have an article in my possession which belongs to you.’ ‘How is that?’ I asked, considerably astonished. “The stranger took a jackknife from his pocket. ‘This knife,’ said he, ‘was placed in my hands some years ago, with the injunction that I was to keep it until I had found a man uglier than myself. I have carried it from that time to this. Allow me to say, sir, that I think you are fairly entitled to the property.’” THE OTHER ONE WAS WORSE. It so happened that an official of the War Department had escaped serious punishment for a rather flagrant offense, by showing where grosser irregularities existed in the management of a certain bureau of the Department. So valuable was the information furnished that the culprit who “gave the snap away” was not even discharged. “That reminds me,” the President said, when the case was laid before him, “of a story about Daniel Webster, when the latter was a boy. “When quite young, at school, Daniel was one day guilty of a gross violation of the rules. He was detected in the act, and called up by the teacher for punishment. “This was to be the old-fashioned ‘feruling’ of the hand. His hands happened to be very dirty. “Knowing this, on the way to the teacher’s desk, he spit upon the palm of his right hand, wiping it off upon the side of his pantaloons. “‘Give me your hand, sir,’ said the teacher, very sternly. “Out went the right hand, partly cleansed. The teacher looked at it a moment, and said: “‘Daniel, if you will find another hand in this school-room as filthy as that, I will let you off this time!’ “Instantly from behind the back came the left hand. “‘Here it is, sir,’ was the ready reply. “‘That will do,’ said the teacher, ‘for this time; you can take your seat, sir.’” “I’D A BEEN MISSED BY MYSE’F.”