Lincoln's yarns and stories : $b A complete collection of the funny and witty anecdotes that made Lincoln famous as America's greatest story tellerMcClure, Alexander K. (Alexander Kelly)
History
Lincoln's yarns and stories : $b A complete collection of the funny and witty anecdotes that made Lincoln famous as America's greatest story teller
McClure, Alexander K. (Alexander Kelly)
Lincoln, Abraham, 1809-1865 -- Anecdotes
President Lincoln and some members of his Cabinet were with a part of
the Army some distance south of the National Capital at one time, when
Secretary of War Stanton remarked that just before he left Washington
he had received a telegram from General Mitchell, in Alabama. General
Mitchell asked instructions in regard to a certain emergency that had
arisen.
The Secretary said he did not precisely understand the emergency as
explained by General Mitchell, but had answered back, “All right; go
ahead.”
“Now,” he said, as he turned to Mr. Lincoln, “Mr. President, if I have
made an error in not understanding him correctly, I will have to get you
to countermand the order.”
“Well,” exclaimed President Lincoln, “that is very much like the
happening on the occasion of a certain horse sale I remember that took
place at the cross-roads down in Kentucky, when I was a boy.
“A particularly fine horse was to be sold, and the people in large
numbers had gathered together. They had a small boy to ride the horse up
and down while the spectators examined the horse’s points.
“At last one man whispered to the boy as he went by: ‘Look here, boy,
hain’t that horse got the splints?’
“The boy replied: ‘Mister, I don’t know what the splints is, but if it’s
good for him, he has got it; if it ain’t good for him, he ain’t got it.’
“Now,” said President Lincoln, “if this was good for Mitchell, it was
all right; but if it was not, I have got to countermand it.”
TOO SWIFT TO STAY IN THE ARMY.
There were strange, queer, odd things and happenings in the Army at
times, but, as a rule, the President did not allow them to worry him. He
had enough to bother about.
A quartermaster having neglected to present his accounts in proper
shape, and the matter being deemed of sufficient importance to bring it
to the attention of the President, the latter remarked:
“Now this instance reminds me of a little story I heard only a short
time ago. A certain general’s purse was getting low, and he said it was
probable he might be obliged to draw on his banker for some money.
“‘How much do you want, father?’ asked his son, who had been with him a
few days.
“‘I think I shall send for a couple of hundred,’ replied the general.
“Why, father,’ said his son, very quietly, ‘I can let you have it.’
“‘You can let me have it! Where did you get so much money?
“‘I won it playing draw-poker with your staff, sir!’ replied the youth.
“The earliest morning train bore the young man toward his home, and I’ve
been wondering if that boy and that quartermaster had happened to meet
at the same table.”
ADMIRED THE STRONG MAN.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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