Lincoln's yarns and stories : $b A complete collection of the funny and witty anecdotes that made Lincoln famous as America's greatest story tellerMcClure, Alexander K. (Alexander Kelly)
History
Lincoln's yarns and stories : $b A complete collection of the funny and witty anecdotes that made Lincoln famous as America's greatest story teller
McClure, Alexander K. (Alexander Kelly)
Lincoln, Abraham, 1809-1865 -- Anecdotes
“Threatened to shoot you?” asked Mr. Lincoln. “Well, (in a stage
whisper) if I were you I would keep away from him; if he threatens to
shoot, I would not trust him, for I believe he would do it.”
“THE ENEMY ARE ‘OURN’”
Early in the Presidential campaign of 1864, President Lincoln said one
night to a late caller at the White House:
“We have met the enemy and they are ‘ourn!’ I think the cabal of
obstructionists ‘am busted.’ I feel certain that, if I live, I am going
to be re-elected. Whether I deserve to be or not, it is not for me
to say; but on the score even of remunerative chances for speculative
service, I now am inspired with the hope that our disturbed country
further requires the valuable services of your humble servant. ‘Jordan
has been a hard road to travel,’ but I feel now that, notwithstanding
the enemies I have made and the faults I have committed, I’ll be dumped
on the right side of that stream.
“I hope, however, that I may never have another four years of such
anxiety, tribulation and abuse. My only ambition is and has been to put
down the rebellion and restore peace, after which I want to resign
my office, go abroad, take some rest, study foreign governments, see
something of foreign life, and in my old age die in peace with all of
the good of God’s creatures.”
“AND--HERE I AM!”
An old acquaintance of the President visited him in Washington. Lincoln
desired to give him a place. Thus encouraged, the visitor, who was an
honest man, but wholly inexperienced in public affairs or business,
asked for a high office, Superintendent of the Mint.
The President was aghast, and said: “Good gracious! Why didn’t he ask to
be Secretary of the Treasury, and have done with it?”
Afterward, he said: “Well, now, I never thought Mr.---- had anything
more than average ability, when we were young men together. But, then, I
suppose he thought the same thing about me, and--here I am!”
SAFE AS LONG AS THEY WERE GOOD.
At the celebrated Peace Conference, whereat there was much “pow-wow”
and no result, President Lincoln, in response to certain remarks by the
Confederate commissioners, commented with some severity upon the conduct
of the Confederate leaders, saying they had plainly forfeited all right
to immunity from punishment for their treason.
Being positive and unequivocal in stating his views concerning
individual treason, his words were of ominous import. There was a pause,
during which Commissioner Hunter regarded the speaker with a steady,
searching look. At length, carefully measuring his words, Mr. Hunter
said:
“Then, Mr. President, if we understand you correctly, you think that
we of the Confederacy have committed treason; are traitors to your
Government; have forfeited our rights, and are proper subjects for the
hangman. Is not that about what your words imply?”
“Yes,” replied President Lincoln, “you have stated the proposition
better than I did. That is about the size of it!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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