Linnet leant back, and gazed up at him. Her gaze was half fear, half
frank admiration. “Dearest Will,” she said, pleadingly, in her pretty
foreign English, “you’re a man, I’m a woman, and therefore illogical:
forgive me. I’ve been brought up to think one way, which I know is a
dreadful way: my own heart tells me how foolish and cruel and wicked it
is to think so; and yet—may the Blessed Madonna and all holy saints
forgive me for saying it—I should be afraid of their anger and the
eternal hell if I dared to disbelieve in what seems so cruel. You speak
to me of another way, which my own heart tells me is just and pure and
good and beautiful—which my head approves as common-sense and sound
reasoning; and yet—may the Blessed Madonna forgive me again—though I
try hard to believe it, the teachings of my childhood rise up at every
step and prevent my accepting it. I can’t understand this mystery of
open war between God and our hearts—between God, who made them, on the
one hand, and what is best, not what is worst, within them, on the
other. I pray for light, but no light comes. Why should God’s law fight
so hard against God’s instincts in our souls—against all that we feel
to be purest, noblest, truest, best in our nature?”
“Not God’s law,” Will said gently, smoothing her hand with his own, “but
the priests’, Linnet, the priests’,—which is something quite different.
God’s law is never some precept beyond and outside us: it is the law of
our own being, the law of our own hearts, the law of the native
instincts and impulses that stir us. Your marriage with Andreas, were it
twenty times blessed by priest or by Pope, was from the very first
moment an unholy and unnatural one. It was a sin against purity and your
own body; it was a legalised lie, a lifelong adultery. You felt its
shame yourself, and shrank from the man physically. Your heart was not
his, so how could your body be? Even the laws of men would have allowed
you to leave him and come home to me, whose complement and mate you are
by nature, after his treatment of you that day, and your discovery of
his letter to Philippina. But the laws of your Church, which are not the
laws of men but the laws of priests—and therefore worse and more
unnatural than even the common laws of mankind—forbade you to take
advantage of the loophole of escape which divorce would permit you from
that wicked union your priests had imposed upon you. The Church or the
law that bids you live with a man you loathe and despise, that Church or
law dishonours your own nature; that Church and that law is not of God,
nor even of man, but of priests and the devil. The Church or the law
that forbids you to live with the man your own heart dictates and points
out to you, is equally of the devil. And see how it proves itself so! It
needed the intervention of Franz Lindner’s knife to free you from your
false union with Andreas Hausberger! Can that Church and that law be
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