Lippincott's Magazine of Popular Literature and Science, December 1878Various
History
Lippincott's Magazine of Popular Literature and Science, December 1878
Various
Literature, Modern -- 19th century -- Periodicals; Science -- Periodicals
"You are not a cripple!" she burst out impetuously. "You have every
advantage! What is it that you cannot dance? I despise men who whirl
about like puppets: I have never seen them waltzing but they must make
themselves ridiculous. I am glad you cannot dance: you are on the level
of too much dignity and noble behavior to condescend to such petty
things. And surely you do not want to run a foot-race!" she added with
an intensity of disdain which made me laugh, high-wrought and painful
although my mood was. Then her lip trembled, and I saw tears in her eyes
as she went on. "If you were a cripple," she pursued in a low, eager
voice, "really a helpless cripple, everybody would love you just the
same. Why, Floyd, what do you think it is to me that, as you say, you do
not possess the advantages of other men? Have you forgotten how it all
came about? I was a little girl then, but there is nothing that happened
yesterday clearer to my memory than that terrible morning when I cost
you so dear. I know how I felt--as if forsaken by the world. I wondered
if God looked down and saw me, alone, in danger, blind and dizzy and
trembling, so that again and again I seemed to be slipping away from
everything that held me. I could not have stayed one minute more had I
not heard your voice. You were so strong, so kind, Floyd! When you
reached me your hands were bleeding, your face scratched and torn, your
breath came in great pants, but you looked at me and smiled. And then
you carried me to the top and put me in safety, and I let you go down,
down, down!" She was quite speechless, and leaned her cheek against my
hand, which she still held, and wet it freely with her tears.
"If you mind your lameness," she said brokenly, with intervals of
sobs--"if you feel that Fate is cruel to you--that there is any reason
why you cannot be perfectly happy--then I wish," she exclaimed with
energy, "that I had never been born to do you this great injury. I love
my life, I love papa, I love your mother and you, and it seems to me as
if I were going to be a very happy woman; but still, if you carry any
regret for that day in your heart, I wish I had died when I was so sick
before you came: I wish I lay up there on the hill with the grass
growing over me."
What was anybody to do with this overwrought, fanciful child? She was so
wonderfully pretty too, with her great dark, melancholy eyes, her
flushed, tear-stained cheeks, her rich rare lips! "Oh, Helen," I
murmured, holding her close to me, "I don't want you to go under the
green grass: I'm very glad you are alive. I would have broken all my
bones in your service that day and welcome, so that you might be well
and unhurt. Come, now, cheer up: I am going to be a pleasanter fellow
than I have been of late. Dry your eyes, dear. Your father will be
laughing at you. Come, let us go and take a stroll in the moonlight: it
is quite wicked not to indulge in a little romance on a sweet midsummer
night like this."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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