Lippincott's Magazine of Popular Literature and Science, Volume 17, No. 101, May, 1876Various
History
Lippincott's Magazine of Popular Literature and Science, Volume 17, No. 101, May, 1876
Various
Literature, Modern -- 19th century -- Periodicals; Science -- Periodicals
Leam had made considerable progress in her estimate of the
proprieties. The unseen teacher who had informed her of late was
apparently even more potent than those who had first broken up the
fallow ground at Bayswater, and taught her that _las cosas de España_
were not the things of the universe, and that there was another life
and mode of action besides that taught by mamma.
But when Leam thoroughly understood the master's mood, and thus
made it clear to herself that the evening's formality was simply a
continuance of the morning's avoidance, after looking at him once
with one of those profound looks of hers which made him almost beside
himself, she set her head straight, turned her eyes to the floor, and
lapsed into a silence as unbroken as his own. She was too proud and
shy to attempt to conciliate him, but she wondered why he was so
changed to her. And then she wondered, as she had done this morning,
why she was so unhappy to-night. Was it because her father had married
Josephine Harrowby? Why should that make her sad? She did not think
now that her mother was crying in heaven because another woman was in
her place; and for herself it made no difference whether there was a
step-mother at home or no. She could not be more lonely than she
was; and with Josephine at the head of affairs she would have less
responsibility. No, it was not that which was making her unhappy; and
yet she was almost as miserable to-night as she had been when madame
was brought home as papa's wife, and her fancy gave her mamma's
beloved face weeping there among the stars--abandoned by all but
herself, forsaken even by the saints and the angels.
Everything to-night oppressed her. The lights dazzled her with
what seemed to her their hard and cruel shine; the passing dancers
radiantly clad and joyous made her giddy and contemptuous; the
flower-scents pouring through the room from the plants within and from
the gardens without gave her headache; the number of people at the
ball--people whom she did not know and who stared at her, people
whom she did know and who talked to her--all overwhelmed as well as
isolated her. She seemed to belong to no one, now that Edgar had let
her slip from his hands so coldly--not even to Mrs. Corfield, who had
brought her, nor yet to her faithful friend and guardian Alick, who
wandered round and round about her in circles like a dog, doing his
best to make her feel befriended and to clear her dear face of some of
its sadness. Doing his best too, with characteristic unselfishness,
to forget that he loved her if it displeased her, and to convince her
that he had only dreamed when he had said those rash words when the
lilacs were first budding in the garden at Steel's Corner.
It was quite early in the evening when Edgar danced this uninteresting
"square" with Leam, whom then he ceremoniously handed back to Mrs.
Corfield, as if this gathering of friends and neighbors in the country
had been a formal assemblage of strangers in a town.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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