attention. Sam Weller is an example. He is a man-servant, who makes a
peculiar kind of jokes, and is wonderfully felicitous in certain similes.
You see him at his first introduction:—
‘“My friend,” said the thin gentleman.
‘“You’re one o’ the adwice gratis order,” thought Sam, “or
you wouldn’t be so werry fond o’ me all at once.” But he only
said—“Well, sir?”
‘“My friend,” said the thin gentlemen, with a conciliatory
hem—“Have you got many people stopping here, now? Pretty busy?
Eh?”
‘Sam stole a look at the inquirer. He was a little high-dried
man, with a dark squeezed-up face, and small restless black
eyes, that kept winking and twinkling on each side of his
little inquisitive nose, as if they were playing a perpetual
game of peep-bo with that feature. He was dressed all in black,
with boots as shiny as his eyes, a low white neckcloth, and a
clean shirt with a frill to it. A gold watch-chain, and seals,
depended from his fob. He carried his black kid gloves _in_
his hands, not _on_ them; and as he spoke, thrust his wrists
beneath his coat-tails, with the air of a man who was in the
habit of propounding some regular posers.
‘“Pretty busy, eh?” said the little man.
‘“Oh, werry well, sir,” replied Sam, “we shan’t be bankrupts,
and we shan’t make our fort’ns. We eats our biled mutton
without capers, and don’t care for horse-radish ven ve can get
beef?”
‘“Ah,” said the little man, “you’re a wag, ain’t you?”
‘“My eldest brother was troubled with that complaint,” said
Sam, “it may be catching—I used to sleep with him.”
‘“This is a curious old house of yours,” said the little man,
looking round him.
‘“If you’d sent word you was a coming, we’d ha’ had it
repaired,” replied the imperturbable Sam.
‘The little man seemed rather baffled by these several
repulses, and a short consultation took place between him and
the two plump gentlemen. At its conclusion, the little man took
a pinch of snuff from an oblong silver box, and was apparently
on the point of renewing the conversation, when one of the
plump gentlemen, who, in addition to a benevolent countenance,
possessed a pair of spectacles and a pair of black gaiters,
interfered—
‘“The fact of the matter is,” said the benevolent gentleman,
“that my friend here” (pointing to the other plump gentleman)
“will give you half a guinea, if you’ll answer one or two—”
‘“Now, my dear sir—my dear sir,” said the little man, “pray
allow me—my dear sir, the very first principle to be observed
in these cases is this: if you place a matter in the hands of a
professional man, you must in no way interfere in the progress
of the business; you must repose implicit confidence in him.
Really, Mr. (he turned to the other plump gentleman, and
said)—I forget your friend’s name.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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