American essays; Literature -- History and criticism
Pope in replying to a letter of Swift’s said, “You ask me if I have
got a supply of new friends to make up for those who are gone? I think
that impossible; for not our friends only, but so much of ourselves is
gone by the mere flux and course of years, that, were the same friends
restored to us, we could not be restored to ourselves to enjoy them.”
In view of this power and attraction of the past, what do we mean by
saying we would not live our lives over again? It seems to be an almost
universal feeling. Cicero says, “If any god should grant me, that
from this period of life I should become a child again and cry in the
cradle, I should earnestly refuse it;” and Sir Thomas Browne says,
“For my own part I would not live over my hours past, or begin again
the thread of my days.” Sir Thomas did not want to live his life over
again, for fear he would live it worse instead of better. Cicero did
not regret that he had lived, but intimates that he had had enough of
this life, and wanted to enter upon that new and larger existence. “Oh,
glorious day! when I shall depart to that divine company and assemblage
of spirits, and quit this troubled and polluted scene!”
But probably the true reason was not given in either case. _We do
not like to go back._ We are done with the past; we have dropped it,
sloughed it off. However pleasing it may be in the retrospect, however
fondly we may dwell upon it, our real interest is in the present and
the future. Probably no man regrets that he did not live at an earlier
period, one hundred, five hundred, two thousand years ago; while the
wish that our existence had been deferred to some future age is quite
common. It all springs from this instinctive dislike to going back, and
this zest for the unknown, the untried. There are many experiences in
the lives of us all that we would like to repeat, but we do not want
to go back. We habitually look upon life as a journey; the past is the
road over which we have just come; these were fair countries we just
passed through, delightful experiences we had at this point and at
that, but we do not want to turn back and retrace our steps. There is
more or less a feeling of satiety. We want to go ahead, but of what
is behind us we have had our fill. What is the feeling we have when we
meet a crowd pressing into the show as we are coming out, or when we
see our eager friends embarking for Europe as we again set foot on our
native shore? Do we not have a kind of pity for them? Do we not feel
that we have taken the cream and that they will find only the skimmed
milk? We think of the world as moving on, everybody and everything as
pressing forward. To live our lives over again would be to go far to
the rear. It would be to give up the present and all that it holds; it
would be a kind of death.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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