American fiction -- 19th century; Short stories, American
Great was the rejoicing of the congregation at Joe’s saving act, and
sincere was the sorrow of the other churches, who knew their own creeds
were less shaky. But in the saloon and on the street Joe’s religious act
was discussed exclusively on its merits, and the results were such as
only special spiritual labor would remove. For no special change was
noticeable in Joe; on Sunday he abjured the world, but on Monday he made
things uncomfortable for the Widow Macnilty, whose husband had died in
the debt of Tackey & Gatter. A customer bought some gingham, on Joe’s
assurance that the colors were fast, but the first wash-day failed to
confirm Joe’s statement. The proprietor of the stage line between
Bungfield and Cleopas Valley traded horses with Joe, and was afterward
heard mentioning his new property in language far more scriptural than
proper.
Still, Joe was a church-member, and that was a patent of respectability.
And as he gained years, and building lots, and horses, and commenced
discounting notes, his respectability grew and waxed great in the minds
of the practical people of Bungfield. Even good women, real mothers in
Israel, could not help thinking, as they sorrowed over the sand in the
bottoms of their coffee-cups, and grew wrathful at “runney” flour bought
for “A 1 Superfine” of Tackey & Gatter, that Joe would make a valuable
husband. So thought some of the ladies of Bungfield, and as young ladies
who can endure the idea of such a man for perpetual partner can also
signify their opinions, Joe began to comprehend that he was in active
demand. He regarded the matter as he would a sudden demand for any
commodity of trade, and by skillfully manipulating the market he was
soon enabled to choose from a full supply.
Thenceforward Joe was as happy as a man of his nature could be. All his
investments were paying well: the store was prosperous, he was
successful in all his trading enterprises, he had purchased, at fearful
shaves, scores of perfectly good notes, he realized on loans interest
which would cause a usury law to shrivel and crack, his insurance
policies brought him fair dividends, and his wife kept house with
economy and thrift. But the church—the church seemed an unmitigated
drag. Joe attended all the church meetings—determined to get the worth
of the money he was compelled to contribute to the current expenses—he
had himself appointed treasurer, so he could get the use of the church
money; but the interest, even at the rates Joe generally obtained, did
not balance the amount of his contribution.
Joe worried over the matter until he became very peevish, yet he came no
nearer a business-like adjustment of receipts and expenditures. One day
when his venerable partner presented him a certificate of dividend from
the Pantagonian Mutual, Joe remarked:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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