_Dear Miss Baker_: Please excuse Rachael for being away those two days her grandmother died to oblige her mother. MRS. RENSKI. The child mentioned in the following note was neither German nor Irish. But he is back in school after a battle with the doctors: _Miss ----_: Frank could not come these three weeks because he had the amonia and information of the vowels. MRS. SMITH. The notes sent are sometimes written on scented paper, and as a rule these are misspelled. Here is a scented-paper sample: _Teacher_: You must excuse my girl for not coming to school, she was sick and lade in a common dose state for tree days. MRS. W. In this same school a teacher received the following: _Miss ----_: Please let Willie home at 2 o'clock. I take him out for a little pleasure to see his grandfather's grave. MRS. R. Still another mother wrote the following: _Miss ----_: Please be so kind an' knock hell out of Sol when he gives too much lip to oblige his mother. THE TROUT'S APPEAL Don't visit the commonplace Winnepesauke, Or the rivulet Onoquinapaskeasanognog, Nor climb to the summit of bare Moosilauke, And look eastward toward the clear Umbagog; But come into Maine to the Welokennebacock, Or to the saucy little river Essiqualsagook, Or still smaller stream of Chinquassabunticook, Then visit me last on the great Anasagunticook. BILL NYE A FATAL THIRST From the London _Lancet_ we learn that "many years ago a case was recorded by Doctor Otto, of Copenhagen, in which 495 needles passed through the skin of a hysterical girl, who had probably swallowed them during a hysterical paroxysm, but these all emerged from the regions below the diaphragm, and were collected in groups, which gave rise to inflammatory swellings of some size. One of these contained 100 needles. Quite recently Doctor Bigger described before the Society of Surgery of Dublin a case in which more than 300 needles were removed from the body of a woman. It is very remarkable in how few cases the needles were the cause of death, and how slight an interference with function their presence and movement cause." It would seem, from the cases on record, that needles in the system rather assist in the digestion and promote longevity. For instance, we will suppose that the hysterical girl above alluded to, with 495 needles in her stomach, should absorb the midsummer cucumber. Think how interesting those needles would make it for the great colic promoter!