English fiction -- 20th century; Short stories, English
I have often fancied that we must have looked, when we made our
inquiries together, uncommonly like the traditional pair in the
stories--my Uncle Spencer, the bright-eyed, cadaverous, sharp-featured
genius, the Holmes of the combination; and I, moon-faced and chubby,
a very youthful Watson. But, as a matter of fact, it was I, if I may
say so without fatuity, who was the real Holmes of the two. My Uncle
Spencer was too innocent of the world to know how to set about looking
for a vanished mistress; just as he was too innocent of science to
know how or where to find out what there was to be discovered on any
abstracter subject.
It was I who took him to the British Museum and made him look up all
the back numbers of the theatrical papers to see when Emmy had last
advertised her desire to be engaged. It was I, the apparent Watson,
who thought of the theatrical agencies and the stage doors of all the
suburban music-halls. Sleuth-like in aspect, innocent at heart, my
Uncle Spencer followed, marvelling at my familiarity with the ways of
the strange world.
But I must temper my boasting by the confession that we were always
entirely unsuccessful. No agency had heard of Emmy Wendle since
1914. Her card had appeared in no paper. The porters of music-halls
remembered her, but only as something antediluvian. “Emmy Wendle?
Oh yes, Emmy Wendle....” And scratching their heads, they strove
by a mental effort to pass from the mere name to the person, like
palæontologists reconstructing the whole diplodocus from the single
fossil bone.
Two or three times we were even given addresses. But the landladies of
the lodging-houses where she had stayed did not even remember her; and
the old aunt at Ealing, from whom we joyfully hoped so much, had washed
her hands of Emmy two or three months before the war began. And the
conviction she then had that Emmy was a bad girl was only intensified
and confirmed by our impertinent inquiries. No, she knew nothing
about Emmy Wendle, now, and didn’t want to know. And she’d trouble us
to leave respectable people like herself in peace. And, defeated, we
climbed back into our taxi, while the inhabitants of the squalid little
street peered out at us and our vehicle, as though we had been visitors
from another planet, and the metropolitan hackney carriage a fairy
chariot.
“Perhaps she’s dead,” said my Uncle Spencer softly, after a long
silence.
“Perhaps,” I said brutally, “she’s found a husband and retired into
private life.”
My Uncle Spencer shut his eyes, sighed, and drew his hand across his
forehead. What dreadful images filled his mind? He would almost have
preferred that she should be dead.
“And yet the Indian,” he murmured, “he was always right....”
And perhaps he may still be right in this. Who knows?
LITTLE MEXICAN
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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