But I must die, or not come to that happy
place. And this is my content, that I am going daily towards it: and
that every day which I have lived, hath taken a part of my appointed
time from me; and that I shall live the less time, for having lived
this and the day past," These, and the like expressions, which he
uttered often, may be said to be his enjoyment of Heaven before he
enjoyed it. The Sunday before his death, he rose suddenly from his bed
or couch, called for one of his instruments, took it into his hand and
said,
My God, my God,
My music shall find thee,
And every string
Shall have his attribute to sing.
And having tuned it, he played and sung:
The Sundays of man's life,
Threaded together on time's string,
Make bracelets to adorn the wife
Of the eternal glorious King:
On Sundays Heaven's doors stand ope;
Blessings are plentiful and rife,
More plentiful than hope.
Thus he sung on earth such Hymns and Anthems, as the Angels, and he,
and Mr. Farrer, now sing in Heaven.
[Sidenote: His Will]
[Sidenote: Last words]
Thus he continued meditating, and praying, and rejoicing, till the day
of his death; and on that day said to Mr. Woodnot, "My dear friend,
I am sorry I have nothing to present to my merciful God but sin and
misery; but the first is pardoned, and a few hours will now put a
period to the latter; for I shall suddenly go hence, and be no more
seen." Upon which expression Mr. Woodnot took occasion to remember him
of the re-edifying Layton Church, and his many acts of mercy. To which
he made answer, saying, "They be good works, if they be sprinkled
with the blood of Christ, and not otherwise." After this discourse he
became more restless, and his soul seemed to be weary of her earthly
tabernacle; and this uneasiness became so visible, that his wife,
his three nieces, and Mr. Woodnot, stood constantly about his bed,
beholding him with sorrow, and an unwillingness to lose the sight of
him, whom they could not hope to see much longer. As they stood thus
beholding him, his wife observed him to breathe faintly, and with
much trouble, and observed him to fall into a sudden agony; which so
surprised her, that she fell into a sudden passion, and required of
him to know how he did. To which his answer was, "that he had passed
a conflict with his last enemy, and had overcome him by the merits of
his Master Jesus." After which answer, he looked up, and saw his wife
and nieces weeping to an extremity, and charged them, if they loved
him, to withdraw into the next room, and there pray every one alone
for him; for nothing but their lamentations could make his death
uncomfortable. To which request their sighs and tears would not suffer
them to make any reply; but they yielded him a sad obedience, leaving
only with him Mr. Woodnot and Mr. Bostock. Immediately after they had
left him, he said to Mr. Bostock, "Pray, Sir, open that door, then
look into that cabinet, in which you may easily find my last Will, and
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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