Thus, as the days went by, and Michael came no more to the house, the
girl grew to think he did not want to come, and her slight
disappointment and mortification were succeeded by a haughty
resentment, for her mother’s teaching had not been without some result
in her character.
Michael had gone into the door of the Endicott mansion a boy with a
light heart and a happy vision of the future. He came out from there an
hour later, a man, with a heavy burden on his heart, and a blank vision
of the future. So much had the woman wrought.
As he walked from the house his bright head drooped, and his spirit was
troubled within him. He went as one in a terrible dream. His face had
the look of an angel newly turned out of paradise and for no fault of
his own; an angel who bowed to the Supreme mandate, but whose life was
crushed within him. People looked at him strangely, and wondered as
they passed him. It was as if Sorrow were embodied suddenly, and
looking through eyes intended for Love. For the first time Michael,
beloved of all his companions for his royal unselfishness, was thinking
of himself.
Yet even so there was no selfishness in his thought. It was only as if
that which had always given him life and the breath of gladness had
suddenly been withdrawn from him, and left him panting, gasping in a
wide and unexpected emptiness.
Somehow he found his way to his room and locked the door.
Then the great spirit gave way and he flung himself upon the bed in
supreme exhaustion. He seemed not to have another atom of strength left
wherewith, to move or think or even breathe consciously. All his
physical powers had oozed away and deserted him, now in this great
crisis when life’s foundations were shaken to their depths and nothing
seemed to be any more. He could not think it over or find a way out of
the horror, he could only lie and suffer it, fact by fact, as it came
and menaced him, slowly, cruelly throughout that length of day.
Gradually it became distinct and separated itself into thoughts so that
he could follow it, as if it were the separate parts of some great
dragon come to twine its coils about him and claw and crush and
strangle the soul of him.
First, there was the fact like a great knife which seemed to have
severed soul from body, the fact that he might not see Starr, or have
aught to do with her any more. So deeply had this interdiction taken
hold upon him that it seemed to him in his agitation he might no longer
even think of her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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