Next, following in stern and logical sequence, came the reason for this
severing of soul from all it knew and loved; the fact of his lowly
birth. Coming as it did, out of the blue of a trustful life that had
never questioned much about his origin but had sunnily taken life as a
gift, and thought little about self; with the bluntness and directness
of an un-lovingkindness, it had seemed to cut and back in every
direction, all that was left of either soul or body, so that there came
no hope of ever catching things together again.
That was the way it came over and over again as the boy without a
friend in the whole wide world to whom he could turn in his first great
trouble, lay and took it.
Gradually out of the blackness he began to think a little; think back
to his own beginning. Who was he? What was he? For the first time in
his life, though he knew life more than most of the boys with whom he
had associated, the thought of shame in connection with his own birth
came to him, and burrowed and scorched its way into his soul.
He might have thought of such a possibility before perhaps, had not his
very youngest years been hedged about by a beautiful fancy that sprang
from the brain of an old Irish woman in the slums, whose heart was wide
as her ways were devious, and who said one day when little Mikky had
run her an errand, “Shure, an’ then Mikky, yer an angel sthraight frum
hiven an’ no misthake. Yer no jest humans like the rist av us; ye must
av dhropped doon frum the skoy.” And from that it had gone forth that
Mikky was the child of the sky, and that was why no one knew who were
his parents.
The bit of a fancy had guarded the boy’s weird babyhood, and influenced
more than he knew his own thought of existence, until life grew too
full to think much on it.
Out of the darkness and murk of the slums the soul of Mikky had climbed
high, and his ambitions reached up to the limitless blue above him. It
had never occurred to him once that there might be an embargo put upon
his upward movements. He had taken all others to be as free hearted and
generous as himself. Heir of all things, he had breathed the atmosphere
of culture as though it were his right. Now, he suddenly saw that he
had no business climbing. He had been seized just as he was about to
mount a glorious height from which he was sure other heights were
visible, when a rude hand had brushed him back and dropped him as
though he had been some crawling reptile, down, down, down, at the very
bottom of things. And the worst of all was that he might not climb
back. He might look up, he might know the way up again, but the honor
in him—the only bit of the heights he had carried back to the foot with
him—forbade him to climb to the dizzy heights of glory, for they
belonged to others: those whom fortune favored, and on whose escutcheon
there was no taint of shame.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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