Women -- Social conditions -- 19th century -- Fiction
These two ladies left London in the old lumbering chariot which had
belonged to the Admiral. Now, indeed, Ethel found herself in a new
country, with new friends around her, speaking a new language, and each
change of scene made more manifest the complete revolution of her
fortunes. She looked on all with languid eyes, and a heart dead to every
pleasure. Her aunt, who bore a slight resemblance of her father, won
some degree of interest; and the sole consolation offered her, was to
trace a similarity of voice and feature, and thus to bring the lost Lodore
more vividly before her. The journey to Longfield was therefore not wholly
without a melancholy charm. Mrs. Elizabeth longed to obtain more minute
information concerning her brother, her pride and her delight, than had
been contained in his short and infrequent letters. She hazarded a few
questions. Grief loves to feed upon itself, and to surround itself with
multiplications of its own image; like a bee, it will find sweets in the
poison flower, and nestle within its own creations, although they pierce
the heart that cherishes them. Ethel felt a fascination in dwelling for
ever on the past. She asked for nothing better than to live her life
over again, while narrating its simple details, and to bring her father
back from his grave to dwell with her, by discoursing perpetually
concerning him. She was unwearied in her descriptions, her anecdotes,
her praises. The Illinois rose before the eyes of her aunt, like a
taintless paradise, inhabited by an angel. Love and good dwelt together
there in blameless union; the sky was brighter; the earth fairer,
fresher, younger, more magnificent, and more wonderful, than in the old
world. The good lady called to mind, with surprise, the melancholy and
despairing letters she had received from her brother, while inhabiting
this Eden. It was matter of mortification to his mourning daughter to
hear, as from himself, as it were, that any sorrows had visited his
heart while with her. When we love one to whom we have devoted our lives
with undivided affection, the idea that the beloved object suffered any
grief while with us, jars with our sacred sorrow. We delight to make the
difference between the possession of their society, and our subsequent
bereavement, entire in its contrasted happiness and misery; we wish to
have engrossed their whole souls, as they do ours, at the period of
regret, and it is like the most cruel theft, to know that we have been
deprived of any of the power we believed that we possessed, to influence
their entire being. But then again, forgetting her aunt's interruptions.
Ethel returned to the story of their occupations, their amusements,
their fond and unsullied intercourse, her eyes streamed with tears as
she spoke, while yet her heart felt relief in the indulgence of her woe.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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